r/wallstreetbets • u/s1n0d3utscht3k • Mar 03 '25

News Trump Officially Signs 20% Tariffs on China

https://www.barrons.com/news/trump-signs-order-for-20-tariff-on-china-w-house-d6fec57f
23.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

8.8k

u/Ninjamuh Mar 03 '25

Are we just putting stocks on a wheel and spinning to see where we’re throwing our puts now?

1.6k

u/Patient-Mulberry-659 Mar 03 '25

They behead a chicken and see where it lands 

641

u/553l8008 Mar 03 '25

Chicken died of bird flu mate

259

u/Outis7379 Mar 03 '25

Bird flu and measles will be deported and tariffs will be applied.

24

u/I_Hate_Traffic Mar 03 '25

Not enough we should build a wall to block birds from coming

10

u/Revelati123 Mar 04 '25

Don said America is getting Iron Dome.

Who knew he meant literaly a dome made of Iron?

4

u/mollila Mar 04 '25

Damn those immigrant rapist birds. I hear they eat our dogs also.

1

u/Outis7379 Mar 04 '25

We should eat those birds.

Mr. President, reactivate Colonel Sanders now!

6

u/weisumyungho Mar 03 '25

I love this fucking comment lmao

2

u/PizzaWhole9323 Mar 04 '25

Tariffs will be deported and bird flu and measles will be applied.

2

u/SlopTartWaffles Mar 04 '25

This is why I live in NJ and not Trumps US

3

u/GloryToAzov Mar 03 '25

and mangoführer will make Zelenskiy pay for that

2

u/Outis7379 Mar 04 '25

And Dreamy Trudeau.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

5

u/rule-low Mar 03 '25

You mean "died with bird flu", right?

8

u/Trabi_rider Mar 03 '25

Maybe you can read something in a scrambled egg ... Oh wait fuck

1

u/FernandoMM1220 Mar 03 '25

that makes it easier to see where it landed

1

u/VoidOmatic Mar 03 '25

This got me good.

Just like it got the chicken.

1

u/Sea_Inevitable_3882 Mar 04 '25

Well that explains the lack of direction I suppose

1

u/ExileEden Mar 04 '25

You consult the bones bro. You always consult the bones.

1

u/CelticSith Mar 04 '25

At least you can still roll the bones for advice

1

u/Still-WFPB Mar 04 '25

Yes but did the bird flu reach a contagion level and hit the swine, so bullish on pork bellies my friend.

1

u/DefinitelyNotShazbot Mar 04 '25

Birds aren’t real, dawg.

1

u/ReasonablyBadass Mar 04 '25

Ah, pre-landed chicken. Very effective.

102

u/AbleEmphasis1518 Mar 03 '25

Arise Chicken! Chicken Arise!

40

u/Gold_Ticket_1970 Mar 03 '25

Totally not working Frylock

67

u/binglelemon Mar 03 '25 edited Mar 04 '25

Move over here...better reception.

ARISE CHICKEN ARISE!

7

u/Tevinter86 Mar 04 '25

YES! Sometimes I will randomly say this and Noone gets the reference!

6

u/BobbyFe Mar 04 '25

Don’t worry brother I also say this and no one understands Aths was fire sometimes

4

u/Ragnarok314159 Mar 04 '25

Finance is about the only place a necromancer could work without suspicion. Or being the most evil one in the building.

1

u/Ol_stinkler Mar 04 '25

Stick is... Upside down

26

u/tajrashae Mar 03 '25

oh, stick upside down. sorry. try, again.

arise chicken! arise !

7

u/TopSeaworthiness8066 Mar 03 '25

You guys never let me down.

24

u/Hockeythree_0 Mar 04 '25

Billywitchdoctor.com makes no guarantees 

8

u/Septopuss7 Mar 03 '25

"tonight...you..."

4

u/bigj8705 Mar 04 '25

Look I’m just trying to get chicken pot pie out of this.

3

u/ajmcwhirk Mar 04 '25

Mega chicken!!! Arise!

3

u/thecloudcities Mar 04 '25

No! He is legend!

3

u/-burgers Mar 04 '25

One convenient locations: Africa

2

u/sklountdraxxer Mar 04 '25

ri- rise chicken

2

u/New-Sky-9867 Mar 04 '25

It don't matter. None of this matters

1

u/ascarymoviereview Mar 04 '25

:) suddenly athf

54

u/SpaldingSmails Mar 03 '25

Due to eggflation, chicken will be blindfolded and spun on waxed wood floor and sent immediately back to laying chamber after prognosticating.

1

u/SayNoToBrooms Mar 04 '25

Well that’s progress at least, right??

75

u/OkInterest3109 Mar 03 '25

What if my chicken entrails says calls?

2

u/British_Rover Mar 03 '25

Believe it or not puts on calls inverse leverages 20x through BTC.

2

u/oinkyboinky Mar 04 '25

Go with your guts.

9

u/553l8008 Mar 03 '25

Get the kazoo

4

u/Maibor_Alzamy Mar 03 '25

if gifs were allowed i'd post the south park headless chicken fed joke

3

u/jollierumsha Mar 03 '25

The market is like that famous chicken that survived the beheading and was taken on a grotesque tour around America making that one dude money. Then it just suffocated one night in a hotel room after he fed it by putting some liquid food down its throat with an eye dropper

2

u/krell_154 Mar 04 '25

Mike the Headless Chicken

2

u/Rymundo88 Mar 03 '25

Laughs in Mike The Headless Chicken

1

u/Lexsteel11 Mar 03 '25

Don’t forget the kazoo- it is instrumental to the system.

1

u/SergeantThreat Mar 03 '25

starts playing a kazoo

1

u/TorchIt Mar 03 '25

BAILOUT! BAILOUT!

1

u/desertstar714 Mar 03 '25

South Park called it lol

1

u/More-Income-3753 Mar 03 '25

Bail out, the most prudent move is a bail out

1

u/Enzo_Gorlomi225 Mar 03 '25

Don’t be ridiculous, you have to sacrifice a goat not a chicken.

1

u/climbinguy Mar 04 '25

BAILOUT! The most prudent move is a bailout!

1

u/Amonamission Mar 04 '25

I understood that reference

1

u/HurricaneRon Mar 04 '25

Bailout!! Bailout the insurance companies!

1

u/Luckreigns Mar 04 '25

Will this also help me figure out how to get my money back cause my dad financed a margarita machine that he didn’t need?

1

u/Sullinator07 Mar 04 '25

Wasn’t there a great episode on South Park about this? Maybe it was just about debt but still shits crazy

1

u/Campfireandhotcocoa Mar 04 '25

Who is bringing the kazoo?

1

u/BurntWaffle303 Mar 04 '25

Nah Robert Kennedy throws them in the blender.