My dad was a major abusive husband to my mom, saw him beat my siblings with excessive force, alcoholic, womanizer, nothing short of a monster. Saw everything first hand growing up. He and my mom have been divorced for almost 30 years. Thank God because she probably wouldn’t be here today if she stayed. He has now obese and could not attract the women that he used to. I carried so much anger for him it was unhealthy for me so I made the choice to forgive, mostly for me than for him and we have had a constant, good relationship for a long time. We no longer live in the same state but we stay in contact on a regular, weekly basis. Over the years, I have encouraged my siblings to try to forgive him as well, telling them the positive things I have seen in him (he no longer drinks). I have also been caught in the middle. He has cried to me countless times wondering why, asking for answers, pretending he has always been innocent, asking me why my brother (his only son) won’t talk to him. He would ask me to be his middle man, and I have until my brother told me, me doing so, made him not want to take my calls. Over time, my siblings now have a relationship with him and my dad has called me several times the peacemaker of the family. Because I was the only one who would talk to him, he would tell me numerous times that I was his only beneficiary, to his house and life insurance. My dad now has stage four cancer. I have flown over to visit my dad along with my siblings. The thing I am having a hard time with is that my dad pays for flights for my siblings and their families but has never offered to help me. He now says he’s leaving my brother his house and possibly a second one he thinks he will inherit because he is “the son”. My dad still has his extreme short tempered, anger outbursts but he hides it around my younger sister, my brother and his family, but every single time I’ve visited, he shows it in front of me. I have never been an entitled person. I left home at 18, and have done everything on my own since, never asking for help from anyone. I don’t want to ever feel like I’m coming up from someone else’s passing but I am having a hard time understanding why he does nice things for my other siblings, including gift giving, trips, but has never thought of me. It kind of hurts. I have not spoken to anyone about this and probably won’t but I need to get this out. Am I being immature and selfish feeling this way?

Hi all,

This may be a bit of a long post so I appreciate you taking the time to read it and offer any advice. A bit of back story. I grew up in an upper middle class home with an older sister. We are both in our mid to late 30s now and are both married. I have 2 children and she has 3. Our parents are both still living (both retired) and we all live in the same town. All our lives my parents have tried to be “fair and equal” with us as siblings but my sister and I took vastly different paths, I.e. we were both fortunate to have college funds provided by our parents. I used mine to go to a 4 year university, received my Bachelor’s degree while my sister battled drug addiction in her early 20s and most of her college money went to save her life via rehab, lawyers, court costs etc. My sister has been clean over 10 years. My dad also saved money for both of us to assist in buying a home. To preface, my dad has worked in new construction home sales for over 40 years so yes… we both built brand new homes. My dad built my sister a brand new home, purchased it with cash and ultimately once my sister was financially stable she got a mortgage and pays an extremely low payment (we live in a fairly expensive cost of living area) thanks to my dad’s help. I took my portion of money and bought a brand new townhome for my daughter and I (I was starting over after a divorce.) Both our situations allowed us to have alot of equity built into our homes thanks to my dad’s generosity. My sister took that equity and paid off alot of her husband’s credit card debts and now they’re stuck in their current home which they have outgrown. My dad was disappointed in this decision but also knew it was not his to make. On the other hand, I remarried and had another baby. My husband and I recently sold the townhome and purchased a very nice new home thanks to my dad’s generosity. We made it known that we couldn’t have purchased our home without his initial help. My sister and I do have vastly different finances. Her and her husband make less money but choose to spend it more often than save. My husband and I do make more money but also have made different financial decisions. My parents are well aware of this and I know they have helped my sister out a lot, I.e., cash gifts, bought my niece her first car. My parents recently redid their will. About 10 years ago my parents built a small house on a river about an hour away. This is in the small town where my dad grew up and he chose to do this with his inheritance from his mom. We can kayak, ride golf carts, golf and enjoy family time. It has been known that my sister and her family want the river home when my parents pass and my husband and I are fine with that. It has also been known that I will receive more cash when my parents pass since my sister is keeping the property. It is not worth a ton of money but has alot of meaning (valued at $150k.) I recently discovered that my parents have “valued” the property at $50k and that is the amount we’re getting per their will. I am extremely hurt by this, not just because of the money value, but because I feel like my children and their future is getting shorted because of my sisters poor finances (they keep more cash this way.) My husband and I have planned to use this inheritance to invest into our children (not to live off of.) I want to talk to my dad about this and try and understand why he’s doing this. I feel like they know this would create drama yet were they not going to disclose this and my sister and I would discover this when they passed? Do I talk to my dad? Am I being selfish?

So basically, my best friend has another best friend who is her school one and i am her bestie since childhood. Ok dont think there will be some jealousy drama or big thing. I dont hate her or something and its ok if she's there. But she's literally every time everyday at her house like bro doesnt have a life. Ok including her in our group(there's one more bestie like we have a trio childhood one) for sometimes like once thrice or even 4 times is ok but she's like there at our every handout. Its been months since we 3 had our own hangout. Its like i miss us 3 hanging out cuz you know we can adjust and try to vibe but cant joke around freely like yk every group of friends has their own humor and suddenly a person whom the other two dont even know starts hanging out everyday like mixing friend groups is A BIG NO. For the sake of politeness its fine but everyday everytime no. Today i called her so that we can go to the party but then her friend was beside her and they were continuously laughing at some movie or whatever completely not paying attention. I am not the type to be paranoid or a toxic friend. I take everything humorously but this time I just felt weird or whatever it is. Like the bond between me and her is very strong and its the first time i've felt like this and i know if i'll say this to her she would stop and wont even judge but certain things should be done by their own instinct. I didnt want to hate her but sometimes I think people really have no work nothing in their life just hanging out for the whole day (every other day).

Guys, I want to buy good soundproof panels so that I won’t be too noisy that my parents check up on my room. What are some good quality soundproof panels?

so basically they kinda started to piss me off sometimes. i feel like this about 2-3 months.

the thing is, when i started talking to this friend they were emotionally unstable ALWAYS. there were many bad things happening, but because i don’t have friends at all i just thought to let it go and maybe something will change. well, it changed with some time but this person (22) is sometimes weird. like they can say something really off-theme and then i’m just sitting like some vegetable being not in mood clearly. they make some stupid jokes which are not funny and i just find their humour kinda basic… we do share a lot things in common, but sometimes it just crosses the line.

the other day, they said something like "you should wear dress one day, just to try it." and i mentioned to them earlier that I DO NOT feel comfortable being in dress. and they would keep saying like "why not😂 it’s like a renovation for your style.🤣". they like to put some AmAzInG vocabulary in sentence and it pisses me off too much. and this is just the example, but there were lots of things like that said.

we met once irl (cause we are basically friends on distance) and they were just so shy all day, that i didn’t understand what happened for them to be like that? and then they texted me "oh, i’m sorry i was shy i know. it is just first time me meeting my internet friend." i met other friends irl too and we were having clearly fun and good communication. but with them i felt kinda awkward after, cause i started to feel a bit uncomfortable. (not mentioning weird touches rarely. :))

i don’t know, there are lots of things that keep happening. well, we communicate 24/7 and i’m starting to feel like it just wears me off. maybe it’s something wrong with me? what do you think?

I’m 19 years old, legally an adult but I still feel like I have no control over my life.

My mom picked the college I would go to, every day she tells me have smart it is for me to live at home and go to the local community college. This college doesn’t even have the major I want to go into. I’ve expressed that and her response is to tell me how many people go into debt over college.

She still controls my bank account. She takes money out whenever she pleases. And it sounds so simple “you’re 18, just open your own account”. But my brother did that, and she took all the money from his original account and kicked him out of the house. He’s now living with a his girlfriend, their child, and his girlfriend’s cousin.

When I was younger, I had mental health issues that was so severe I spent most of my time in inpatient care. But every time I’d be in outpatient, my mom would be there to tell them how “good I’m doing”. It’s to the point where now going to the psychiatrist on my own, the psychiatrist thinks I’m lying because “I was doing so good” when in reality I never was and still am struggling.

If I make too much money working, my mom takes a huge portion because “I don’t need that much sitting around”. She won’t help me pay for anything, but she’ll pay for everything for my brother’s girlfriend (not my brother).

My mom is constantly hovering over me. Constantly checking my grades and work, despite telling me “you can’t be struggling you’re smart”. She’s constantly monitoring my car. She randomly goes through my room. I was prescribed new medication, she found it while going through my stuff, accused me of being like my biological mom, and threw away the medication.

All of my interests are constantly dismissed and judged. Anything I want to do is met with “that doesn’t seem worthwhile”. My mom takes good care of others, mostly her students. But she’s never supportive of her own children. She’s not supportive but she controls everything.

I feel like I’m never going to get control over my life. And maybe I’m just being dramatic. But I want to be independent. I want to live like a normal college student. I’m terrified of losing everything.

How do I move forwards? Do I just go open my own bank account? I already got accepted into other schools. Do I just pack up my stuff and move out? My mom won’t listen to anything, she always believes she’s right. She’ll never listen to my opinion. Is it worth trying to talk to her? How do I get the courage to just leave?

For context I’m an 18 year old female and I have a partner 21 male. Awhile back I ended up finding out he had a whole album of old sex tapes which I thought was weird and I expressed that to him, but I ended up minding my business because at the end of the day we were not together yet. Fast forward a week he lets me know he deleted them out of respect for me which I appreciated, but I let him know that he shouldn’t feel obligated but I was very happy he deleted them. Yesterday while we were talking he randomly decided to let me know that he was gonna get the sex tapes back when we were going through an argument and weren’t on good terms but he didn’t(mind you we weren’t on good terms for about 3 days). He also said that he was just gonna add me to his collection which I thought was very disrespectful because we had talked about me being added to whatever he had going on (we didn’t make any tapes, but he has photos). I was trying to let him know that him talking like that made me uncomfortable and to stop and he told me to shut up, so I left him alone for the night. I then texted him this morning letting him know that I was uncomfortable with what he said and his response was..

https://imgur.com/a/C8YSWUu (Image of our messages together)

I feel like he’s just very disrespectful and doesn’t see that but when I call him on it he will claim I ruined his day and he will ignore me for awhile.I’m sorry if this is stupid I just have no one to talk to about this because he won’t even hear me out.

They are threatening to fire one of us, me or my sibling, if I don't take the shift management position. I don't have a choice. If I say no, one of us have to leave.

I've worked at Arby's for almost 5 years now, and my sibling has worked there with me for 4 years, being hired about a year after me. Not long ago, something happened at another Arbys location owned by the company between siblings and stealing safe money or something with pushed a specific policy into full force. Basically, in order for me and my sibling to work the same job in the same building, we both have to become shift managers. My sibling already is a shift manager, but I'm just a crew member, and I was happy with that. I don't have the leadership confidence or skills, nor am I confident in telling people what to do. I am someone who strongly prefers to be told what to do, and am not comfortable bossing other people around, etc.

My general manager tells me to lie and say I'm capable and not to tell anyone, specifically the district manager, that I prefer to be told what to do, etc. I feel like I'm playing into one big lie and I can't stand it. I am not a liar. My general manager doesn't want to lose me or my sibling because we are the couple of best people we have. I'd really hate to disappoint her and I've been doing my best in training, but I don't think I can hold out and continue doing this ... I don't know what to do. I was so happy taking orders and making sandwiches, all of the above, and just being told what to do.

It's not fair that me and my sibling have to be threatened our jobs because of other people at other arbys locations ....

I can't find another job either because I can't drive and I don't think any other job will even pay me enough to support my family, afford my medications and so forth. Working the same job at the same place with my sibling was transportation convenient. I'd have thought working for so long there would mean something but I guess not if they can just fire either of us for something we didn't have anything to do with and because I don't want to take a position.

I'm 13f and I can't seem to do anything or get friends. whenever someone tells me if I wanna go on a competition with some ppl on my class I decline because im scared to perform badly and let them down. whenever my teacher tells me to do a presentation or give a speech, I'm afraid and my legs feel weak because im scared of judgement. I know my classmates won't do that but my mind tells me they will. and I always believe it. I also can't make friends because im afraid to talk to them bc "what if they judge me? what if I look bad?". any tips? I would really appreciate it

My mom is sick. Not with a cold or something small—she has this condition in her neck where, when she gets too angry or stressed, it causes partial paralysis and messes with her heart. The doctor warned her: if this keeps happening, it could trigger a stroke. She’s basically dying from stress.

And guess who’s causing it? My father.

Let me give you some background. 18 years ago, my mom was in her early twenties. She had just won a big money prize on a TV show, bought herself a car and a house at only 24, and was doing well. Then she married my dad.

When I was a newborn, she was sitting in her car—my dad was driving, and they got into an argument. You know what he did? He kicked her out of the car. Just like that. With her baby in the backseat, he said, “I’ll take your car—let’s see what you do now.” She had to take a taxi to her family’s house—who didn’t even want her there. That was the beginning of her nightmare.

Fast forward: he sold that car behind her back and gave her nothing. He’s taken loans in her name, lied, cheated, manipulated—nonstop. And it didn’t stop “back then.” It’s still happening today, just faster.

Yesterday: he took her car again (she still pays for it), went to work overnight without telling her, and when she called, he literally said “I don’t have time for you.” When he finally came home, she asked why he didn’t tell her, and he just said, “Why should I ask you?”

Then he walked out on her and went to his father’s house, where they all hate my mom. They trash talk her constantly—call her names, mock her—and my dad? He joins in. Says, “Yeah, you’re right. She’s like that.” Like some pathetic little minion desperate for approval.

My mom told me yesterday: “He’s speeding up. Before, it was every once in a while. Now it’s like he’s trying to kill me.”

And I believe her. Her body is breaking down, and he’s out there living freely like nothing’s happening.

And here’s the worst part—she can’t divorce him. Everything she built—she paid for it, but it’s all in his name. The house, the car—everything. And in Tunisia, there’s no equal splitting in divorce. If she leaves, she loses everything she worked for.

She told me, “I’ve tried talking. I’ve tried yelling. I’ve tried everything. He’s a rock.” And now she’s in bed, shaking, on the verge of a stroke. And he’s out with his friends.

I don’t know what to do. I’m angry, and I’m scared. I’m watching my mom die slowly, and I can’t stop it.

What can I even do?

I have had a rough few weeks because of my Mother. She completely lacks the ability to admit that her or my sister are wrong in any situation. Everything is my fault. On top of that, everything I do is wrong. Breath? I'm an abusive bastard for "stealing her air". Sit down? I'm lazy and a massive waste of time. Read my books? I'm stealing from her because they're "her books". Buy something for myself? I stole the money from her to buy it. It's a lot. Recently though, it's gotten worse. I recently found her trying to erase the memory of my father, who passed away when I was 7. She's hidden all the pictures of him, and she recently tried to take away my dogtag with his name on it. I don't know what to do anymore.

Need good answers

Hello. As far as I know, depression is not a lack of willpower. And I know that there are usually people who with good intentions recommend going out, getting up, exercising. And I understand that it can be worse to do that, or to try and not be able to.

Here is a copy of IA, will there be someone who knows and can help me?

Thank you

Some misconceptions about depression are: It is a sign of weakness, laziness or carelessness It is the fault of the person who suffers from it It can be overcome with will Being depressed is a sign of being a bad father, mother or child It is synonymous with sadness Does not affect boys These misconceptions can be detrimental to the treatment of depression. What not to say to someone with depression: "Cheer up", "Be happy" or "Enjoy life" "You don't look depressed" or "You don't look sad" "It could be worse..." "You're like this because you want to", "You have no reason to be depressed" or "If you have everything, why are you like this?" "Just get out of this" What you can do to help: Validate the person's depression, Express that you are worried about them, Offer to listen to them. Depression is an illness that requires medical and psychotherapeutic treatment. If someone tries to force the person to "be better", instead of helping, they create greater difficulties.

Just need good feedback

He doesn't even call him his best friend anymore. However the guy i was taking to was pretty much using me. I always had a crush on his best friend tho before getting involved in the old situationship, however I just don't feel right about it. Do I act on it or just stay neutral

"Life as a singleton! I'm 22F and almost 5 years na rin akong single. Had a high school sweetheart for 2 years, but it didn't work out in college. Now, surrounded by friends, cousins, and workmates na may jowa na . They always ask, "Kailan ka?" "Where's yours?" 😂. Minsan, naiisip ko, what if may jowa din ako ngayon? Pero sometimes, I'm like, "Ano ba, I'm good!" Hahaha Not model material, pero okay na ako sa kung ano ako - morena, chubby (not plus size 😂), straight black hair, at kilay na sakto lang. Brainy too, haha!. Valedictorian in high school, consistent Dean's Lister in college , share q lang and now working sa accounting department. Life's good, pero sometimes... ? Ewan, bored ba ako?

long story, i appreciate those who've read through

i (22f) have been debating for months if i should try to reach out to an ex friend of mine. we'll call him L.

so when we first met i thought he looked like a really cool person and i had that feeling i get when i really want to have someone in my life. i can't describe it but sometimes i see someone and get this overwhelming urge to be close to them. anytime this happens i usually succeed in becoming close friends with them with minimal effort on my end (meaning they approach me first). he was very kind from the start, but he was always a smartass lol and we'd frequently engage in playful banter.

i started hanging out with his circle of people which is all men (he's got female friends that he wanted me to meet at a concert we were supposed to go to as well but this group was all men) and i was nervous at first but it was so fun and i got along really well with everyone. after a few times of this he said "you're one of the boys now" and his friends agreed. i almost cried. ive never been "one of the boys" before, i surround myself with very feminine energy so my circle includes mostly women. i do have male friends but they're usually gay or a friend of a friend type of thing.

this meant a lot to me because i have a ton of trauma with men and have a very difficult time trusting them. and now im finding a whole group that were kind and funny and made me feel safe. i obviously didn't want to let this go !

we grew closer and he's a very busy person so we'd facetime, call or send memes until we could meet in person. i grew very attached during this time and really admired him and everything he's been through. he is flawed like all of us and he's a good person and tries his best.

anyways everything shifted back in august of last year. we planned a hangout with me, him, and our other friend that i grew close with through him. we all planned to go to the mall and look around for the day. everything went fine until the very end of the hangout. L brought up an experience of a guy i told him about. basically this idiot drunk man was being really touchy with a friend of mine and when i intervened the dude kept calling me the n word hard r. i didn't take it personally bc i just cared that my friend was safe. the dude was also bigger than me and my friend so i just let him talk his shit bc who knows what he's capable of ?? police were called and he was handled.

with all that being said, L was like "remember that guy that called you n****" ? and my stomach dropped. i went really quiet for a few seconds and then said "L c'mon you know i don't like that word . . ." he defended himself saying he used it with an a at the end. our other friend was visibly uncomfortable and stayed silent the whole time. i tend to shut down during conflict and disengage. L tried making jokes to lighten the mood but i was so annoyed. im a black woman and if you are not black im not comfortable with it no matter the context of which you are saying it. i can't control free speech but i can choose to only be around people who respect my boundary.

we wrapped things up and went our separate ways. L hadn't reached out in a couple days so i sent him a meme to break the ice and to let him know we were cool. i guess this was the wrong move because he blocked me.

it's been zero contact ever since. i kept hoping he'd reach out eventually once he cooled off. i haven't stopped thinking about him at all. i miss everything about him and i constantly wonder if he's okay and doing alright.

over a week ago i noticed his tiktok account popped up on my "people you may know". i miss him dearly and just want to reconnect. but he also set a boundary when he blocked me 8 months ago so there's wanting to respect that despite my feelings. should i reach out or just let it go and eventually get over it one day ?

This may sound really pathetic, but I’m a very jealous person. My self esteem fluctuates, and my self worth isn’t amazing.

I try to hide anytime I feel jealous, but my emotions show on my face very transparently.

Any time my boyfriend talks about hanging out with a friend, his trainer being female, going on a vacation with family, getting drinks with family, has a video of a girl on his saved instagrams…. It’s not female specific but those I notice affect me more, obviously.

Something in my chest hurts and I have to really try not to let my face show it or force positive energy as to not upset him.

I really don’t want to be a jealous girlfriend. I want to be happy when he’s happy without me, I want to feel okay if he enjoys how other people look, that other girls share his interests, etc. I want to be a better person. What can I do?

What have you done that works? Please help me :(

So I'm 26, and been considering seeing someone for a possible autism diagnosis. I've never felt "normal"/ like I fit in, and the first time I read about women with autism who spent their whole life masking, I felt like I came home. Like there were actually other people who felt the same way as me. But sometimes I also feel like my autistic traits aren't "bad enough" that I should/can have a diagnosis. I just really need to know what happens if I go in for a consult, and they're like "yeah, you're not autistic" Then what??... Where does a person go from there... Essentially how do you learn to human, if you are not autistic?

I've never posted on reddit for actual advice, just a story I wrote on no sleep. I don't really know where to start but here's some backstory.

I'm 21, adopted in 2017 (I was about to turn 14). prior to my adoption, I was in a pretty bad environment. Dad left, Mom was addicted to drugs, and there were dark secrets that were better left alone. But once I was taken and put into the states custody, everything was flipped. Then it was flipped again when I was adopted. Not to drag this out for too long but Even though I'm an adult, my adopted parents hold a very strong grip over me. They keep track of my bank accounts, I live at college but if they want me home I come home. Even at the expense of missing classes that all come out of my own pocket. They're not bad people and I'm not the smartest when it comes to common sense so I believe I partly deserve these restrictions (theres more not mentioned).

I was very overweight up till the summer before 7th grade. I lost over 100 pounds and I finally looked normal. I still had loose skin but it tightened nicely after I become more active and started gaining muscle. I had a couple stupid middle school and high school relationships. But one really weight me down after. My sophomore/junior year of high school I started dating this girl named Meghan. Everything seemed great, I had little freedoms to leave the house but Meg didn't seem to mind. I knew she "had a past", whatever that means when your'e that young. But long story short, I was down bad, I'd do anything for this girl. There were red flags like her sabotaging relationships her friends were about to have with guys and dumb stuff like that. We had a homecoming party. She begged me to dress up as ELMO. yes, Elmo bro.And she was the Cookie Monster. She claimed she wanted to enter the costume contest and win the prize. My dad drove us there, and when we got there, one of her EX's met us there. I being the dumb guy I was, or still am (more on that later) was like Oh thats fine. But at one point our janitor started rapping so I went to go take a video of him. When I got back to the spot I left my Ex, her and her Ex were nowhere to be found. The turned up at the end of the party, my dad picked us up and dropped her off. The following weeks were weird. Meg grew distant, and all our mutual friends (my only friends at the time bc of my introversion) didn't talk to me. Turns out she cheated on my with the guy. ik, who would've thought. After that, I worked out, Joined theater, got into a new relationship, and become a very social person. This is where we get to my current problem.

My partner now (goes by they/them) is the most kind loving person I've ever known. But I guess I'm still dumb because I seem to be ruining things. When they go out somewhere, my first question is whith who, will there be boys. I've even checked their phone. I have gotten better with that and they leave their phone with me a lot and I end up putting it on the other side of the room so I don't get any ideas. I tell them everything. And I always ask the question "is there anyone else, are you still faithful, you'd never lie to might". Just crazy toxic boyfriend bs. Sometimes I wonder if they'd be better off if we broke up, just so they dont have to deal with me. They've recently confided in me that when I ask them these questions that it makes them feel awful, like I'm accusing them of something they didn't do. They really are just so amazing, but whenever I'm home alone, all I can think about is the possibility that theres someone else. I've started going back to the gym, hanging out with friends more and drinking to ease some of the anxiety and obsessive thoughts.

We've been together for a year and 6 months. Help?

Ok so there’s this guy (18m) that I (18f) like a lot. I’ve had a crush on his for two months and I think I was being too delulu. I think I let myself get tooo much in my head and I texted him yesterday “so…where’s that picture of your dog” and I think I was too harsh. I have a hard time with my filter and sometimes I don’t really know what’s mean or not. I think it was mean because he saw it and didn’t respond. How I know he saw it? On iPhone once someone sees your message you can no longer unsend or edit the photo and I can no longer do any of those things. I hate myself for sending that text, and he’s the first guy I’ve really actually liked, I haven’t felt this way since eighth grade and I’m a senior for crying out loud. I don’t know what to dooooo, and it’s not like I’m attracted to his face or anything I like him for what I’ve seen of him. He has the dorkiest smile that lights up his face and his eyes are the cutest things ever. His curly hair is adorable, especially when he plays with it and the curls snap back. He’s so smart, I e never seen him take notes in class but he’s always doing well. His dog is the cutest thing ever, he named it drizzy as a joke and his parents actually liked it so it stayed, it’s a lil shitzu I think with the cutest lil fur ever. I think I over read him asking for my hell on the nyt This is how it went I went over to his table once I saw my two friends were there and there was an open seat next to him. It was time for the quiz and I was gonna fail it because my mind was else where. I saw that he was finished and back on question one so i copied it, he then moved his screen down. He was being nice and letting me copy his answers unprovoked. After that, I told him that I needed help finishing the connections for nyt, and we joked around and stuff while he helped me. Our legs were touching for a good bit, maybe a minute? Idk it felt like one but he didn’t move his leg away instantly. Then he went to do the sudoku and I told him how I played it. With auto candidate on and he made a joke how it basically does everything for you, and I laughed and said that’s the only way I can really do them and thag I’m not good at math like he is, and then he recalled I got a five on ap English which I had told him a while ago. Which lowkey gave me butterflies. Then we do the crossword together and I’m testing my boundaries by getting close to his computer (also because my eyes were a bjt dry and I’m wearing my contacts so it was a bit weird for me to see so far away) and he didn’t say anything, and we completed it together, with the help of some reveals. I really enjoyed playing if that together. He said he had a headache but still didn’t waver talking to me at all, he was still laughing and stuff. They were talking about the John Pork brain toy and stuff and I had showed him the lore on Tim cheese and he was laughing but now I’m worried that it was just too much all at once. I was holding back so much laughter and I felt awkward showing it to him but it was still really funny. He then had to leave because he checked himself out. I don’t really think he had a headache because that day we had a HUGE test and so I think that’s why he skipped it, but oh well.

Now, when I had asked how his dog was, I had told him I might ask him for a photo of his dog. Which I did, but I still think it was too much. I went to ask my friend for help on what to say and now i think k was better off by myself…

How do I get over this guy when im over thinking literally everything???? He probably thinks im weird and how I know my delusions are BIG is because as im typing all this out I was thinking that he’s doing the push and pull method

i’m kind of into my friend in uni but dude gives me tiny signals and they’re so mixed. here are some of the things he did:

• i’ve noticed he looks my direction a lot when we’re in group settings. even when im not speaking and someone else is, i catch him looking at me.
• he’s so kind to me but also kind to other people so i wont use that as an example but still he’s so fucking nice.
• he asks for my advice and help.
• he sometimes pays for my coffee, but i think it’s in his culture.
• he asked me for dinner today and didn’t ask anyone else around in the office, so we went just us 2 to eat. and he let me pick the restaurant. (for context usually we go around asking people if they want dinner, but today his best friend wasn’t here and he didn’t seem to ask anyone else, and i didn’t either)
• his eyes are so warm when he looks at me.
• he laughs at my unfunny jokes
• he playfully touches my arm or leg when we’re drinking and laughing
• a couple times when we were walking somewhere in a group and i was walking behind everyone else he looked back to make sure i’m still there
• only person that waits for me to tie my shoes when we’re walking somewhere in a group
• told me how nice i am and how he’s trying to learn english to talk to me more and be closer to (that was 3 months ago)
• offered to drive me across town to pick up something for myself
• reminds me that i can always ask for his help in uni or with moving (since im thinking of moving)
• when he found out about some bad news he came to tell me as soon as he got to uni, he wanted comfort
• says hi and bye to me every time he comes and goes from the office, and no one else (except his roommate/best friend) . but all of this can be interpreted to just him being a good and observant person

why i don’t think he likes me: - broke up with his gf in january and when someone asked him if he’s ready for a new relationship he said don’t think so - mentions his ex too much as a joke or when we pass by her department or house - he treats everyone nicely - i’ve had people be into me before and they always made it way too obvious, unlike him - he told me he’ll split the bill on todays dinner (still waiting for him to send me what i owe) but to be fair we’re both broke students

Long story short, all my teenage years I was harassed for having long hair, (and before for other reasons) now although it seems that long hair is a popular trend, and I have it much shorter than what it was, I still get idiots on my back who do recognize me

Changing city is not avaible as I got no money, any other suggestions? Going down with a lawyer or something is also out of options, as I don't know their name, and they're complete strangers to me.