Throw away account.

My fiancé and I moved into our dream house about 5 months ago. A few weeks after, we met our next door neighbors, who were a sweet old couple in their mid seventies. Literally the nicest neighbors you could meet, and instantly invited us to their Christmas party they threw every year.

We heard some neighbors didn’t like them, but didn’t know why. When my fiancé got the Christmas party invite, it had their last name on it, and she searched his name. Turns out, our neighbor was a cop in the 1980’s and molested his adopted son over 1,000 times according to court documents. His adopted son came forward in early 2010’s, and he only served ~3 years in prison. His wife stayed with him through it. His adopted son eventually killed himself.

I absolutely despise anyone who harms children, and honestly hope he dies. I’ve kept it neighborly though, and would wave back when he waves, and have helped him with small things when he’s asked for help.

We don’t have children, but plan to once we get married next year.

What would you do? Would you cut contact and never talk to him again, or just keep it casual, and not go out of your way to talk to him? We have two dogs, and I always worry if something happens at home while we are gone, we’d appreciate a neighbor to be there to help.

All opinions welcomed.

My (F22) and husband (M24) have been together for five years now. He recently was reached out to an old friend of his that he lost contact with around the same time we started going out. I’ve joked about him having feelings for her but he has never confirmed this.

She recently started talking to him through snapchat and they have been texting everyday for about a month now. I have no issue with except he hasn’t told her that he is in a relationship. He says it’s not that big of a deal and that there hasn’t been a normal opportunity to bring it up yet. Should I just drop it?

A couple of days ago my ex called me and told me she is 8 months pregnant, and that the baby is mine. We haven’t talked for that whole 8 months once since we broke up, as it was not a good and sustainable relationship.

Before we ever got together, we both had the talk of neither of us wanting kids and she promised me up and down that if she ever got pregnant she would get an abortion. It turns out that the pregnancy was a cryptic preganacy which means that she still got all her periods and everything, and that she had no idea she was pregnant until the last week, leaving out the option for abortion.

She said that she does not expect or want anything from me, as we are not in a relationship and that it is her decision to not give the baby up for adoption. She has a very strong support system and a big family who understand the nature of the situation and can support her and the child.

Since we have been together I have moved and gotten a job in a place 3 hours away from her, and have gotten into a new relationship which is going very well. I told her that I will think on it, but that I don’t want to be a part of the child’s life as I was very clear and adamant from the start that I did not want one, and I never would have gotten with her if that did not seem like a guarantee .

I offered to pay her child support and help out with the finances, and she said thank you but that I don’t have to at all. I just feel very lost and confused as to what to do now, as this was all so sudden and I am in no place to be a father to a child.

I just need some advice or insight from people who have experienced anything like this. I have talked to my current girlfriend about it and she is supportive of me in any decisions that I make, but have not told anyone else. I feel very ashamed and just don’t know what to do, I feel that I can’t be a part of this kids life but that it will grow up loved and cared for, but I just don’t know.

Anything would be appreciated, thank you

my boyfriend is 18 turning 19 soon, and i’m turning 18 later in the year. we have been together for almost 2 years and want to stay with each other. i missed my period in march and i had this gut feeling that i was pregnant, i took a test on friday and it came back positive. i took another one yesterday morning and it’s l positive. i’m having so many conflicting feelings, we want this baby but we also haven’t even begun to start our lives yet. i don’t have a job currently (i haven’t had a job before and you need expierience to work at mcdonald’s😐), and my boyfriend works for his father and makes good money especially for right out of high school(20/hr). i know that isn’t enough to support a child i am not stupid, and i don’t come from money. i don’t want my child to suffer through being poor. i know that’s a big enough reason to just give up but i don’t know. i know the state of the world isn’t the greatest either. i don’t want to put it up for adoption because i am terrified of birth and i was adopted and obviously i didn’t turn out too great. i know when i talk to my grandma (who i live with currently) she is going to tell me to abort it and it is a thought in my mind considering everything in my life is against this pregnancy. i live in a blue state so thankfully i have the option to do so but it just doesn’t feel right. i have always been pro choice and ever since this happened i have really been upset at those who think differently because i don’t want to do it. i want this baby but i don’t have the income i don’t know how i would handle college with a child.

i just really need advice on my situation, preferably from a woman who has gone through something similar

and before you comment i don’t wanna hear how abortion is wrong(give me the money to pay for my baby then) and i don’t wanna hear how i got myself into this situation & i’m a whore(no fucking shit)

EDIT: thank you for all the nice advice!! i love hearing from these older people who still call me honey lol i feel so old even though i’m not and like everything is going so fast. this transition period in my life is so difficult. hearing people’s situations really put a lot into perspective and i’m really appreciative to those comfortable enough to share. i have to talk to my grandma soon but i think i know my decision. this shit is so difficult to deal with while i’m a couple months away from graduating.

OH YEAH AND TO THE GUY WHO TOLD ME THAT IM THE REASON ALL WOMEN DESERVE TO GET NEUTERED… i don’t have BALLS! and rich people don’t just proclaim they’re rich in defense to a 17 year old goofball 😭

So I (M) found out through third party sources that my gf keeps sensitive conversations with this random guy from her past. I didn’t believe at first so I decided to do a nono in relation ships (I checked her phone while she slept). There I found it, conversations that delet after 24hrs on insta. I couldn’t read anything but I found some other chats as well. I decided to check the deleted images and behold, spicy pics I had never seen. Some conversations were cut in half, its like she had deleted for herself what she sent but forgot to take care of the chats continuity. This was the same for 2 chats. I dated the chats and went back to our conversation and found out we had cut our convo short because she was tired on those days. She also keeps an old iphone besides her bed and I think she uses it to spoof her location. The reason to believe this is because she has accidentally left it on when she goes to work and her classes. I brushet off but the evidence is stacking.

¿WHAT DO I DO?

We've been together for 5 month, friends for 7 month before that. Last night we were getting on, then he asked how I learnt some sexual skills. He then asked if I could teach him. I replied "why, you plan on having sex with other people ? " jokingly. He said that he might feel the need in the future to experiment with other people.

I'm his first, he says i'm the love of his life and everything, that he wants only sexual experiments from other but to make love to me only.

He says I completely satisfy him and that i'm enough "for now, but maybe in a few year i'll feel the need to try having sex with other people, i've only got one life, but it's you and only you I love". He said he wouldn't mind if i did the same but i fear it's because he has never had reasons to be jealous or insecure or anything. He said he wouldn't do it without my permission

I don't know what to do, how to go on from this. He said "in the future" but i feel weirded out. We're supposed to have a monogamous exclusive relationship. I don't feel like I trust him much anymore and even though i love him with all my soul i'm uneasy with the thought of making love to him again after what he said.

My previous relationships were very abusive, sexually and emotionnally. I feel like I can't trust him anymore and he's going to leave me and everything we have over fucking around. How do I process this ? I have no Idea whether i'm overreacting or not.

Okay so this morning before work my fiance who is marrying me in literally 20 days just put all her stuff out of my house over a whatsapp chat, ill explain.

My family doesnt want me to marry her because of precisely these abrupt reactions she has. She creates a lot of arguments that I feel can be either on a lower scale or just be understood and left there.

I woke up and had to go to work and she checked my phone which i thought was super rude so i got pissed off. I had told her that my father thought it was not a good idea to marry yet. And he said a lot more than that which were bad things toward her, which btw i defended her on the conversation. Anyways, she saw the msg and now says Im a liar and she cant trust me.

When i left for work she sent me pics of all her stuff ready to move out from the house and told me "if you dont fix this, then im done with you." And I asked "do you still love me?". She said yes and thats the only reason that has me considering to go back with her.

I just dont know how to apologize in a way she would feel better. Shes basically putting me in the spot saying, im the one who has to do something cuz shes tired and not gonna do anything.

I apologized and nada... i dont even know if shes worth it at this point. We could get married and then she leaves me all alone or divorces me with children if this is her attitude.

Need Advice. Thanks!

One of our family friends—let’s call her Brenda—goes on regular girls’ dates with my wife.

The problem is, Brenda drives poorly. Poorly as in: when we were both in the car with her in the past...

1. She would get honked at and trigger road rage without understanding why.
2. She would take corners fast enough to push the car to the edge of its rollover envelope.
3. She nearly ran over cyclists at intersections because she didn’t see them.
4. She once drove at night without turning on her headlights.

Even Brenda’s husband has half-joked that he never lets her drive when they go out together.

That said, Brenda is very kind. Because of that, she often offers to drive when she and my wife go out. Another girls’ date is coming up, and—surprise—Brenda wants to drive again. My wife is unsure how to bring it up, especially since Brenda is quite insistent.

I’m in favor of ripping off the Band-Aid and telling Brenda gently but directly. My wife, understandably, isn’t thrilled about that option.

What do you all recommend?

TL;DR: Friend insists on driving, but she's a terrible driver. How can my wife say something?

so today my cousin and aunt was over and we were discussing and updating each other on life. I live away from my family and my aunt and cousin live locally near the rest of my family. We started talking about my sister and how she’s doing and I don’t have a close relationship with my sister so I really don’t know much. But she is 23F and as far as I know she’s back in school trying to finish. She doesn’t work/hasn’t worked for 5 years and is just living off my dad. She really dislikes my family and shuts herself out from everyone. I don’t think she’s close to her friends anymore either. She just stays home and stays in her room from what I know. Now for the main part that I need advice about..

As we were discussing today, I was saying how I remember how happy she was in her first year of college. She was very much to herself in HS, typical teen ya know. Moody here and there. (here’s an important context: she was the SMARTEST one in our family - straight A type of kid). Then, when she went away to college, she’d always tell me about her co-ed fraternity and all the events and parties they do. She was really having a good time and brought out a side of her I didn’t really see. She had like “light” in her life. I even thought to myself like “dang, she’s having more fun than I am in college haha.” And I would always go to her school to pick her up and go grocery shopping or when I pick her up and we go back home to visit together (our schools were 40mins apart). Then at some point I guess she was doing so bad she got kicked out of her college and had to move back home. WHICH I did not know until a year later. I was under the impression that she decided she wanted to go back home bc of a change of course. When she was back home. She got really really bad. Like she hated any and everyone that would speak about her or to her. She didn’t want anything to do with anyone and she shut everyone out completely. Just a BIG change. And so today as we were talking.. I was like that is weird how things changed so drastically. And I was very unaware bc no one back at home would ever tell me anything and I would find out later on after the fact.. so my cousin said “maybe something happened to her” and I got really scared. I’m really scared and sad if something did happen and for the past 6 YEARS she’s been battling this alone and none of us knew. My dad got her into counseling a couple years ago as far as I know but she’s stopped since. And everyone thought she was depressed and just very different. So I want to talk to her, if this is true & something like SA happened I don’t want to straight up ask bc it might trigger/is a very touchy subject. And I just want to cry to think of this. But what if she doesn’t even tell me if something did happen? or what if she blows up on me for bugging her. I don’t know how to approach it. Has anyone been in this situation? Any advice?

Every morning when I want to clean, workout or shower, he hugs me. When I do stuff like that, I want to be left alone and not touched. If I say anything to him about not wanting to be touched at all some days, he'll automatically assume I don't love him anymore. It seems like no matter how hard I try to explain I don't want to be touched, he feels rejected and gets upset. He starts to say things like "so I guess we are like every other couple who can keep our hands off each other." How can I explain that I don't like being touched when focusing on things without him getting upset?

I also feel like I can't do anything without him getting upset over it. If he doesn't get hugs after a period of 20 minutes, he gets upset, which makes it hard to do things I like, like practice my singing, go on TikTok, social media, etc. If I enjoy anything that's not him, he gets upset. I try to incorporate these things to make it fun for him, like getting him to tell me if my singing is off, tell him about recent TikTok drama, but he doesn't seem to be into it. How do I ask for alone time if he gets upset that I need it since he doesn't enjoy things I like?

So I went through his phone, I know it’s horrible. He’s cheated in the past and told me I could have access to his phone whenever to prove that he wouldn’t do it again so maybe there’s some leeway. I found out that he’s been messaging his ex gf again and sent her the same roses he sent me on Valentine’s Day after he cheated on me to, “show his love” or whatever. How do I confront him? Or do I just make a silent exit?

About a year and a half ago, my ex cheated on me while partying. She was the quietest, most low-key girl you could imagine—until she went out. After that breakup, I met my current girlfriend, and we’ve been together for about 10 months now. She seemed like everything I had ever wanted in a partner.

Around 3 months ago, she started working as a photographer for student parties (we're both still students). Ever since, I’ve been feeling extremely anxious, jealous, and on edge. The event staff she works with are all guys—about 7 of them—and to be honest, they’re all pretty attractive.

What makes it worse is that when she goes out for these events, she dresses in a way that feels quite provocative—something she never does with me. She often comes home really late, and it triggers my anxiety big time.

She tells me it’s just work and that nothing’s going on, but I can’t shake the feeling. Every time I check her Instagram, I see new guys from the events following her—and she follows them back. It really messes with my head.

I don't know if what she’s doing is wrong, if I’m overreacting, or if maybe she’s not the person I thought she was. A while ago I saw a picture of her with six guys and had a full-blown anxiety attack.

I really don’t know how to handle this anymore. I feel like it’s eating me alive.

This is a throwaway, because frankly I'm embarrassed. Some background, I'm 27 year old female, I live in the US. I did some drugs when I was younger and in general did not have good hygiene. I had a rough childhood and just didn't know how to take care of myself, and I made some mistakes.

Last year I had to have 3 teeth pulled because of severe cavities. I brush and floss my teeth now, and use mouthwash everyday. My diet isn't great but I don't eat too many sweets. I don't do drugs anymore.

A few weeks ago I started having tooth pain again. And then one day one of my teeth started turning black. I know it will be infected soon, as the tooth is literally falling apart. Tonight I was looking at it and I realized the tooth right by it also has a major cavity. And I broke down.

I'm not even 30 yet and I feel like I'm going to be toothless no matter what I do. I don't have any money. I work 50 hours a week but I just can't afford to get a tooth pulled right now. Even if it is only a couple hundred dollars out of pocket.

I feel doomed. What am I supposed to do? I brush my teeth but evidently it is not enough.

Please help. I feel hopeless.

So, my best friend and I have been super close for years—we’ve been through everything together. I love her dearly and would never want to do anything to hurt her or damage our friendship.

But recently, her husband brought up the idea of the three of us having a threesome. I was honestly shocked. I’ve never given either of them any reason to think I’d be into something like that, and it kind of caught me off guard. I don’t know if my friend is actually into the idea too or if this was just his fantasy, but now I feel weird being around them. I haven’t said anything yet because I’m not sure how to approach it.

I really don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I also don’t feel comfortable being in this position. Do I bring it up with her? Do I ignore it and hope it goes away? I’m just scared this could affect our friendship long-term, and I’m feeling really awkward now.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? What would you do in my shoes?

I hate knowing this information. My friend started it out by saying she almost committed suicide, and then told me she is having an affair. She’s slept with the guy and is in love with him. Her and her husband have 2 little children together. I’ve known them both for a long time, and her husband was always a nice person to me.

I’m afraid if I tell him, she might follow through with her attempt. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want her husband to suffer, but I also don’t want to potentially cause my friend to be pushed over the edge and do something to harm herself. I hate that she told me this. I wish she would have just kept it to herself or, ya know, never cheated in the first place. What do I do??

I know they will never love me back, they will never be attracted to me physically, nor will they be fully attracted to me as a person. This is fact and it's okay, I'm not their type, there is pretty much no 'maybe one day' about it. I'm not certain if I'm in love with them or the idea of someone very similar, same problem regardless. I will never make a move, or tell them how I feel at the risk of making it awkward or even have them feel I have betrayed their trust in 'acting' as just a friend, which I'm absolutely trying not to do in any way at all.

The easiest way to get over them is obviously to distance myself as much as possible. My problem is they are one of my best friends. They help me through my day to day and week to week, and I can't imagine losing them as a friend because I have had to distance myself. They are very important to me. I see them all day 4 days a week, and often on weekends, space will not naturally happen. I have lost sleep over the fact I'll never be with them at times, it causes me pain almost daily.

How can I go about moving on or healing myself, without losing the friendship we have that I'm so grateful for?

So I’ve (23f) had feelings basically since I met this guy (21m). We hang out everyday at uni and there’s great chemistry, but he’s in a relationship so obviously I was steering clear. Lately they’ve been fighting a lot and he’s been bouncing back and forth between leaving her and staying. He tells me a lot about their problems and it feels like every time he drinks he calls me crying or having the worst time and says he’s unhappy wants to leave her etc. For context she’s pretty possessive and imo unsupportive and then she cheated on him and made out with some guy at a party. But he stayed.

Last friday he was in a really strange mood and kept saying things about his girlfriend that I’ve never heard him say. Stuff like “I don’t want to go home and see her” and “who the fuck cares what she thinks”. He was determined to go to the liquor store so I took him and he drank a lot of vodka. He said she was calling him heaps and he’d just quickly give her a ring while we were walking through the park. An hour and a half later I find him a hyperventilating mess, crying on the ground saying she was so mean and he was afraid of seeing her and didn’t want to go home.

Long story short I said he could stay in my spare room. I got home and had a few drinks and out of nowhere he starts pulling up messages with his cousin where he’s telling her he’s really attracted to me and then starts being super flirty and tries to come onto me. I managed to keep his hands to himself for a good hour or so until I got pretty wasted and wanted to go to bed. He insisted we stay in the same room cause he was sad and uncomfortable but when i laid on the couch in the spare room while he was in the bed he kept trying to come onto me. I ended up saying I was going to bed and he came in begging to stay in my bed and be “platonic”. At this point I’m pretty drunk and it’s 3 am and I start to crash out of energy. Next thing I know he’s stripped to his underwear and literally sucks on my neck and gives me a hickey. I kept reminding him of his gf but he just said he didn’t care and wanted to leave her etc. I remember we end up making out and it got pretty steamy. He took off my clothes and we didn’t have sex but we went to sleep naked and both woke up freaking out.

He made me swear to not tell a soul or it would ruin his relationship and he’s gone back to her and doesn’t want to leave. Then tonight he calls me drunk and crying saying all this bad crap about her but saying he doesn’t want to leave and again that I can’t tell a soul. I feel dirty and like I’m a home wrecker. I pity his gf even if she is toxic, he needs to leave her or be honest with her and stop talking to me. I’ve felt awful all weekend and can’t talk to anyone without his relationship being ruined and I don’t know what the hell to do

My (26F) husband (25M) has a sister (8F) who he brings to our home almost every weekend and during holidays. I get that they’re the closest among their siblings and that he practically raised her. My MIL is also fine with her coming over since she’s busy with her business—so it’s basically free babysitting, right?

But lately, I’ve been feeling like it’s becoming a problem for me, especially now that we have a baby—our own little family. When we were still dating, it was fine. I loved hanging out with his sister, and we built a close relationship. But now, with a baby and new responsibilities, I feel like it’s too much that she keeps coming over.

For example, the day I was discharged from the hospital after giving birth, we even rerouted to pick her up because she wanted to see the baby. Another time, we were on a tight budget, but my husband still ordered expensive takeout as a “treat” for her. I also dread visiting my in-laws now, because that usually means she’ll be coming back home with us.

Don’t get me wrong—she’s a good kid, and I don’t have a personal issue with her. It’s just that she’s so attached to her brother, and now to our baby. She constantly begs her parents to let her come over just to play with the baby. My husband loves having her around too. But it feels like we never have a weekend to ourselves as a family when he’s off work.

I feel like a total asshole because this is about a child—and I don’t know how to bring it up to my husband. I’m afraid he’ll take it the wrong way, especially since it’s about his dear little sister. But I’ve been torn about this ever since, and I’m reaching my limit. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this in and I don’t want to resent this kid.

EDIT: Thank you all for the reality checks; they really gave me a lot to think about! I’ll reflect on everything.

And no, she’s not his daughter, but his sister 100%. Their mother just had her late.

Hello, I am autistic and in my thirties. It is painfully obvious by now that if I do not look for a girlfriend a relationship is never going to happen for me.

This is mostly a question for other autistic people, and I really am looking for some practical advice here. I have a hard time dealing with people both in real life and online after awhile. I get burnt out very quickly with both.

I am very fortunate in life that I am able to lead a very quiet and private life. Needless to say this lifestyle does not help with dating. I thought I would be alright if I confined my search for dates to the internet and to dating apps but even online, I am realizing how quickly I can get frustrated and burnt out reading and chatting online.

Maybe someday I will have to try more in person things to trying to get dates. But that scares me even more because in person I am often a wreck and have had panic attacks talking with new people.

So, like I said I really am looking for practical advice with how to keep up the mental strength of looking for dates when you get burnt out with people so very quickly.

Thank you.

My cat died five days ago and it was unexpected. I feel a bit better about it after talking to my therapist. I won't see her again for like 3 weeks because she's so expensive.

I'm 34 years old and male. My wife divorced me a little over a year ago. That's fine...we kind of made each other worse people and it's good that we got divorced. We get along but aren't super close. No children.

Anyway I think I was ok through all of that because I had my cat. Now I don't. I spent the week at my parents' house because I couldn't hear being home alone without him. I am trying to be back here this evening. My brother helped me put all of his cat stuff away in storage, so that is great.

But I'm alone and I hate it. I feel like if I go back to stay with my parents for another night, then I'm just delaying this pain. On the other hand, maybe I just am someone who can't live alone and it's not going to get better?

I was happy before he died. He really made everything ok in my life. I could get through things because every day I got to talk to him and sing to him and care for him and lay with him.

Should I just stay here and try to work through this and cry and lay in bed? Should I go back to my parents'? Maybe I could split time between here and there. I could sleep there at night and come back here other times to try to get used to it?

Thanks,

E²

Edit: Thanks so much to everyone who has replied. I appreciate you taking the time to share and help me out. For now I'm going to spend the night at my parents and try to be home during the day. Gradually being home more and more hopefully. I don't think I'm ready for another cat but volunteering does sound like it could be rewarding and help. Take care, everyone.

so basically they kinda started to piss me off sometimes. i feel like this about 2-3 months.

the thing is, when i started talking to this friend they were emotionally unstable ALWAYS. there were many bad things happening, but because i don’t have friends at all i just thought to let it go and maybe something will change. well, it changed with some time but this person (22) is sometimes weird. like they can say something really off-theme and then i’m just sitting like some vegetable being not in mood clearly. they make some stupid jokes which are not funny and i just find their humour kinda basic… we do share a lot things in common, but sometimes it just crosses the line.

the other day, they said something like "you should wear dress one day, just to try it." and i mentioned to them earlier that I DO NOT feel comfortable being in dress. and they would keep saying like "why not😂 it’s like a renovation for your style.🤣". they like to put some AmAzInG vocabulary in sentence and it pisses me off too much. and this is just the example, but there were lots of things like that said.

we met once irl (cause we are basically friends on distance) and they were just so shy all day, that i didn’t understand what happened for them to be like that? and then they texted me "oh, i’m sorry i was shy i know. it is just first time me meeting my internet friend." i met other friends irl too and we were having clearly fun and good communication. but with them i felt kinda awkward after, cause i started to feel a bit uncomfortable. (not mentioning weird touches rarely. :))

i don’t know, there are lots of things that keep happening. well, we communicate 24/7 and i’m starting to feel like it just wears me off. maybe it’s something wrong with me? what do you think?