Preface: I’m 27M & very obviously Gay. Not into women at all (love y’all though). The term “hottie” that I use is like, when someone helps you out with a favor or does something really nice for you & you say “omg you’re such a hottie for that thank you so much” even if you don’t find them attractive whatsoever.

Well yesterday I was at the beach alone just having some quality me time & also had a few drinks so feeling a little buzzed. I was standing in line at a food stand but didn’t see they sold alcohol, so I asked these group of girls in front of me if they knew somewhere that sold margaritas. They looked like teens, maybe just graduated high school so after that clicked in my head I’m like.. “why did I just ask these children where alcohol is?” Mind you I was tipsy. They looked like locals so I figured they’d know of at least a restaurant or something (I’m not originally from here)

They were super sweet & helpful & gave off great vibes so after the interaction I was like “thank you so much y’all are such hotties” & immediately walked off to do my thing.

As soon as I said it though, I cringed. I was like oh my fucking god… I genuinely hope they did not think I was actually calling them hot, because I definitely was not. And like I said, I’m very obviously gay; how I dress, the way I talk, mannerisms, etc etc. so I felt like they understood the vibe.

Anyway, I’m thinking about this the day after & feeling kinda bad about it :( I call allll my friends “hotties” even my family lmao. It’s not a term I view in my head as a sexual compliment. It’s like the equivalent to “sweetheart” or “honey” or something. But yeah just wanted to get that off my chest

Thank you so much for the reassuring comments in the first post. I dozed off after the first few comments while waiting for him to reach his place and let me know. I woke up to a lot of reassuring comments, and the main thing everyone stressed was trust, and I do fully trust him, so that made me feel better.

I just wanted to talk to him about how the walk went just for myself, and so I could give an update here too. He wasn't able to answer my calls in the morning, and ngl despite all the positive comments I'd just read and the lessons about trust I was again about to start to get worried (honestly a comment had said this might be a me problem and maybe they're right lol).He just woke up half an hour ago because he'd gone to sleep late since he'd had coffee when dropping her at her place, so he couldn't sleep until late, and figured I'd gotten knocked out (true lol) so he didn't call me either in the night, just texted me. He has to go to meet some friends for brunch so we couldn't talk for too long, I just asked him how the walk was and he said it was uneventful but he was glad he did because it was quite late. When I meet him tonight I will let him know that it was really sweet that he walked her to her place (a lot of the comments said how great it was of her to do that and it made me a bit proud too). Thank you for helping me out when I was spiraling last night and I do promise to work on myself too.

I appreciate all the responses I've gotten on this post, but I can feel myself falling into a spiral again and I don't think this update post was a good idea, I thought it would help me but it's doing the opposite. I appreciate it, and I'm secure in where I stand with my boyfriend but I appreciate the concern. I don't think I'll be responding to this post any longer.

I’m 21F my FWB is 28M and my friend is 19F. So my 28 year old FWB called me the other day while I was with my friend and we were speaking over the phone while I was driving and he told me to come over and I told him I was with my friend. My friend was keen on jumping in and tagging along and whatever happened 1 thing lead to another and basically the next day I ain’t getting a replies from my friend and my FWB. Both of them have been avoiding my calls for the straight 2 days and I’ve driven past the FWB house and I’ve seen my 19F friends car at the front of it. Now like I’m getting really frustrated that I’ve been abbanonedd by both of them and I haven’t done anything bad and they just have basically left me on seen for the past 2 days. Any honest opinions on what I should do honestly I needed to vent out here and hear what others have to say about what has happened and if anything else has experienced this before

That's it. I am not working, and I barely go by in college, I cannot imagine myself finishing degree and working 9-5 for 40 years or so. I told that to my father, and he pretty much just told me that "this is how it works, everyone has to worki".

So I told him that I am going to be a NEET for as long as I can, and he can kill me while I sleep if he wants, that would be ideal for me since I don't want to live anyway.

Tried suiciee once with shit ton of benzos and alcohol, didn't work out, and I simply do not have guts to jump under the train or anything like that.

You can call me an asshole, but I did not choose being born, having mental ilnessess etc.

Another convenient Saturday nothing burger protest. I'm sure all of them will go out to vote in the midterms but don't expect applause or awe for coming out and complaining about a shit hole country at this point in time.

All of this could have been unnecessary if y'all have just voted.

Me and my friends were chillin at 7/11 when some man asked me for some coins. I instinctively went to look for my wallet and gave the man some coins. When I looked back at my friends their giving me a dirty look which confused me. I often see the man collecting garbage to I guess sell as scraps. The way my friends looked at me is stuck in my head and now I feel guilty for giving him money. I don't always give money to people, it's just when I have spare change to give.

I was just in a too good of a mood to think about the possibilities the man could do with the little money I gave him

EDIT: I've read most of the comments and I appreciate all of it! and no I'm not 12 what would make ya think that >-<!! Kidding aside, screw what my friends think of me for giving some money, maybe I'll give him food when I bump into him again. BTW my friends didn't say anything about me giving the man some money, just the dirty look. (Sorry about the title, didn't know how to word it better :[ )

Anyway, lesson learned, don't let your friends get into your head lmaooo. Thank youu

35f. The loneliness has given me a physical ache in my chest. I've spent the day periodically crying.

I have been lonely for so long. Yearning for love, yearning for the chance to be seen. The few men who I become vulnerable with turn out to just want sex, or validation and disappear. I have gotten ghosted more times than I can count. The apps are filled with men who want to fuck me and leave.

It's embarassing, to be my age and to admit all I want is to have my hand held by someone who wants to. To be in the arms of someone who wants me there. It's like I have this weight of love I want to give someone and nobody wants it.

Then my therapist and the internet will tell me that I need to love myself first. "Work on yourself!" But when the depression from being alone is so heavy, how do I get up to start that? What do I do when the pain is so deep that I don't feel worth loving. Don't feel worth the effort.

Maybe this is just the corner of the internet I’m on, but everyone seems to be strongly against women proposing to men.

If I ever see a cute romantic video of a woman proposing all the comments are hateful, saying it’s wrong. I often see people saying that it means the woman loves the man too much (and that’s a bad thing??)

What confuses me even more is that the majority of the hate comments are from other women.

I don’t get why the tradition of men proposing seems to be the only thing that people are against changing. I see no issue with women proposing, and it just shows that we’ve achieved equality. How’s that a bad thing?

I (16F), found out tonight at a family dinner that my dad has another child but he doesn’t know that I know. Tonight, we had a family dinner with all my paternal aunts, their families, and my grandmother who live in different cities. It’s the first time in a while that the family is complete so I was having a nice time as I’m fairly close with all of them. However, while eating dinner, my mother and one of my aunts who I was chatting and catching up with landed on the topic of who my cousin looked like. Like a lightbulb moment, my mother blurted out that he looked like my father’s son who lived in another city. She didn’t seem to realize I was right there until a minute or two had passed of them conversing more about him (and me pretending to be on my phone and scarfing down whatever I first saw). The rest of the night, I watched as my father ran around with my cousin and that conversation just played over and over in my head. For the next 5 hours, I just kept zoning out. However bad it may be, I couldn’t help but ask myself why my cousins’ dads didn’t put them through this. Until now, as I lie on my bed as my parents sleep soundly in the room opposite mine, images of him and my cousin’s face is all I see no matter how tight I close my eyes.

Admittedly, I did know prior, but only because I vividly remember my mother sobbing as she bathed 4 year old me muttering, “I hate your father.” But I guess up to this point, a part of me didn’t accept that as reality. Maybe I just thought it was a bad dream I had once when I was a child, I don’t know. Perhaps thinking it’s true is actually very different from hearing that it is. No one had ever told me that directly, only in passing conversation to each other before my mother quickly shut it down or changed the topic. Thus, I also never knew anything more about it—not whether it was a daughter, a son, how old they were, or where they lived. Also, it’s important to say that years ago when I first checked my “blocked” list on Facebook (one my mother made for me when I was a child) that a woman I didn’t know was already blocked and I had a suspicion even as a small child that that was it. But again, maybe it just didn’t really sink into me yet.

Also, I feel it’s important to note that my grandfather (dad’s father) also had multiple children with multiple other women, some he went on to marry and even switch religion to be able to. And I was well-aware of it. However, my father and his siblings are in-touch with their half-siblings and we’ve even had dinner with them a couple of times. Maybe I didn’t want to believe that my father would put his own child in the same situation he was in. I love my father. He’s given me everything I’d ever ask for, material wise. He works abroad and prior to quarantine, he’d always be home for at least a full month but after he switched companies during the pandemic, he only stays for two weeks. Now, I can’t help but wonder if he also spends some time with his other family. I would be glad he stood up for that child as well but at the same time, it makes my stomach churn that there is another child that looks like me, that looks like my father. I do not believe I would ever want to meet them, to meet the woman my father was willing to share his love for his 4 year old daughter with. I don’t believe I am or will ever be mentally stable enough for it.

So please, don’t tell me to feel remorse for the other family, because I don’t. I also don’t hate them, I don’t think they ruined what was any semblance of a functional family, I don’t blame them. I simply do not have an opinion regarding them as people. I also don’t know how to face my father like I did before. I’m not mad, I never was. In all honesty, it feels like cold water was just dumped on me and I’m just now seeing how both of my parents are flawed people. I’m hurt other people knew before me, I’m hurt that they didn’t think I couldn’t handle it, I’m hurt they never ask how I’m dealing with it. But I also don’t have the energy to confront them. I only have 1 week left with him, I don’t think I’m willing to rush the process of unpacking this and leaving it ‘til next year to continue. However, I want to be mad but I can’t bring myself to do so.

If there’s anyone here who went through something similar, how did you cope and move on? Did you ever see your father the same as before?

I had a life changing accident 7 months ago and my time in hospital was horrific. My care since has been non existent, I’m disabled and struggling to cope. It’s just disgusting that anyone has to pay for medical expenses. There’s so much money being kept by the rich. People like me are struggling to survive, struggling to pay food, medical expenses, rent. While people have access to more money than they and their children could ever spend in their life. Every day I just think what the fuck is the point. The whole world is so fucked up. I’m struggling, every day is horrible but compared to so many I am so incredibly lucky. Hard to feel lucky when everything is shit but I am. People are being blown up, having their lives torn apart, loved ones lost, and they come to other countries looking to survive and the people that are withholding all the money try and pin the worlds struggles on them. It’s the immigrants and the lazy disabled peoples fault. The amount of money that goes on helping immigrants and disabled people is a fucking fraction of some people’s wealth. Makes me feel fucking sick. The wealth distribution in the world is fucked up. How are celebrities getting paid like royalty while families are starving. It’s disgusting. People in power are disgusting. People who have a ginormous amount of money and watch and do nothing to help people are disgusting. The argument of why should someone be entitled to someone else’s money is ridiculous. So it’s better to have people starve to death because they can’t afford food, to die because they can’t afford medication than it is to share?

I am on the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend and I just really need some help with coping with issues that last beyond the breakup.

I don’t think breaking up solves any of my issues. My insecurities are the main reason. My boyfriend and I started off as anime enjoyers but as time passed I felt more and more insecure about how sexually anime portrays women and how much my boyfriend enjoyed watching hot anime women.

I started to feel more and more insecure about my own body and how I looked. Especially after finding out that he read hentai and watched cosplay porn almost 3-5times a week to masterbate.

This summer when I went to japan with him we visited an alley with a bunch of anime girl posters that were half naked and I started to hyperventalate and it made me feel so sick. I couldn’t physically stand there seeing my boyfriend look at those posters and I had to leave or else I would’ve started sobbing.

Whenever I see an anime girl portrayed sexually anywhere I just start to feel like throwing up and extremely frustrated. I cry at times bevause of how much resentment and jealousy it causes me.

I can’t believe how hateful I am. How much I can hate other pretty women that enjoy cosplaying and showing off their bodies.

He said he doesn’t care about other girls romantically and it was just normal to feel aroused by sexual confent and that he grew up consuming it since he was young blaming it on “i was a kid and I had internet” but ever since I found out how sexual he is I just coulnd’t feel normal again.

I don’t know how to heal or enjoy anime content ever again, I don’t feel confident anymore I dont take care of my own looks anymore and I genuinely don’t know if I could ever go back to liking this entire culture anymore.

I get extremely jealous and disgusted at anything that even relates to japanese culture. Maid outfits and thigh high socks and everything about it makes me feel sick.

I just don’t want to be sick at the sight of anime girls anymore. I don’t want to be triggered by this everywhere I go because of how popular anime is.

I am going insane. It hurts my heart

My husband (33M) and I (25F) have been together for 7 years, married for almost 6. I am an immigrant and the reason I'm in the US is because he petitioned for me to come here through fiance visa. For the first year of our marriage, he was the bread winner since I was not allowed to work, and then covid happened and we were living off of his mom. By 2021, I am making my own money and has been making changes in my career that lead to me doubling my income. Meanwhile, he keeps doing canvassing job that pays $19 an hour and is seasonal. He ends up not working for quailf the year, and when he does work, it's usually less than 40 hours a week. He has not made an effort to increase his salary at all.

Last year, we bought a house. It's under both of our names, but the loan is under my name solely, because since he keeps doing odd jobs, the lender doesn't like his income history and they said it would end up hurting us more than helping us.

Our house was a little bit of a fixer upper since the owner has not made any improvements since the house was built. I changed the flooring. I cleaned and painted the walls. I planted the grass. My husband was...in the background. When I was doing the flooring, all he does is maybe give me a couple of boards here and there. When painting, he picked a fight with me and left me doing all the painting. When I planted the grass, he brought me to Walmart but the seeds. You get the gist. He does the bare minimum. And it's not like I don't give him opportunities to do stuff. He could've started the flooring in the living room while I do the bedrooms, but he does it so horribly that I needed to remove it. When I planted the grass, I asked him to rake to soil but he cannot even put in an effort to actually get it loose. I had to take over cause he does everything so poorly.

I am tired of this. How am I the breadwinner, the maid, the cook, the carpenter, and everything else? Is this what marriage is supposed to be like?

Because of all these stress, I gained a lot of weight in the last 3 years. And he had the gull to tell me that he's less attracted to me. MAYBE IF I'M NOT FEELING THE PRESSURE OF DOING EVERYTHING, I WOULD ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! This life is so hard. I am alone and tired. The people that I can lean to are not even in the same country as I am. Sometimes, I just really want to end it all. I feel stuck. I feel done

it’s so annoying.

I’m too white to fit into the Korean crowd and I’m too Korean to fit into the white crowd.

I grew up in a predominantly white community so I’ve only ever had crushes on Latino and white men. I never really thought about it because they were, quite literally, all I knew - but now I’m just an Oxford study girl apparently.

It’s insulting because I wish I knew more Korean people growing up. I’m not opposed to dating Korean men, I just feel as though I don’t fit into the culture. I’ve never really felt welcomed to it, but no one wants to have these nuanced discussions.

It’s also frustrating because people only see my Asian features. I have to tell people I’m half white, but that doesn’t mean they see me as white - they still see me as just Asian. I don’t get white privilege. People still ask me if I eat dog and assume I watch anime. I feel like I’m a walking fetish sometimes too.

But god forbid I try talking or venting about this. People will tell me I’m not Asian enough to talk about Asian topics and say I’m muddling the waters.

Yeah, there’s worse problems out there but god, I just wish I was either 100% white or 100% Korean

I love my boyfriend but I don’t trust him and it’s killing me. We’re in our early thirties and when we met just over a year ago, he was in a weird stage where he lived for going out, doing drugs and drinking. He was would go days without contacting me, then other women would contact me saying they’d slept with him during this time. I gave him an ultimatum and he seemed to take it seriously, telling me his mental health was bad, he asked if he move in with me and he’d prove to me that he was serious. Now I feel like I was manipulated with this and my mental health is rock bottom because I’m so paranoid but he doesn’t seem to understand. He still drinks heavily and says he ‘blacks out’ so he doesn’t know what he’s doing. A girl contacted me in December to say she’d met up with him on a night out, and in February he punched the walls in front of me and got me in a headlock so tight I thought he was trying to choke me. Every time I try and have a conversation about our relationship or my feelings he just shuts it down saying sorry and he would never do that again. Now I feel like I’m struggling to be nice and pretending everyday while my anxiety shoots through the roof with him simply being at work. I don’t want to hurt him by breaking up with him (and am scared to because of previous MH issues) but don’t know how to put myself first for once.

I always hear the stereotype that men always say their love language is physical touch but they only say that because they want sex. But for some, it's a lot more (or a lot less) than sex. I didn't really know what my love language was until I got out of my my first romantic relationship 2 years ago and realized the thing that I missed the most was the couch cuddles and the handholding.

I haven't gotten into a new relationship since that one and I just feel so deprived of physical touch. Occasionally, I'll give my friends hugs when we're meeting up, but those kinds of hugs are the quick "hey how are you" hugs. The kind of hug I need is a really long one, one of the ones where you hold the other person as tight as you can just to know you can still feel something. The ones that make you almost want to cry and let out all of your pent up emotions. That's the kind of hug I need.

I know self-love is important, too. I feel like I can say that I've done a lot of self reflection after getting out of my previous relationship and I feel more confident in who I am. But it always feels like there's something missing, a romantic partner for sure but the other thing is just one big, meaningful, genuine, caring, tight, long hug. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask?

Me and my cousin (both female) are very close in age.

When my cousin and I were younger (10 or so) we experimented and wanted to know how certain things felt. Over the last 15+ years this topic was never brought up… until this week.

She told me that I stripped her of her innocence and molested her as a child. Mind you, never once did I force her to do anything and we were dumb little kids doing dumb things. We would go on Omegle together, make singing videos together, etc. In addition, We had older brothers who played GTA, watched explicit videos and whatever little boys do.

Prior to this, we talked almost every single day. We spent half of our childhood together and distanced because of me and my family moving. After a couple of years we talked like we never stopped. I’ve been there for her when she needed it and vice versa and now this gets brought up? We both had a rough childhood but now blames me for “stripping her of her innocence.” She said “it never gets brought up but it lingers and whenever we would talk about our personal intimate lives with our partners or anything from our childhood, it brings back bad memories.” She claims that she looked up to me and that I abused that power and that she did whatever I wanted…

Im stuck because I can’t help but think that I am guilty for her mental instability now because of all the things we did as kids. My cousin has a big impact in my life and I love her so much but I can’t help but overthink and what makes it worse is that I can vaguely remember my childhood. We had a rough childhood. It makes me want to die knowing that she thinks that way about me even though I know in my heart that I would never put my cousin in harm… I guess i’m just posting here because I have no one else to confide in.

Last weekend, I went to a party and sleepover at a friend's house. While there, a couple of guys got me drunk.

I woke up, and knew I had been attacked.

The more I think about it, the more I remember, and I don't know what to do.

My friend group (we hang out as a 5, all of them have similar views except me) has become obsessed with this narrative that history is wrong, specifically about Nazis and WW2, they genuinely seem to believe that Hitler wasn't that bad, that the image of Nazis was deliberately "polluted" by Jewish people for political power and control over us "goys", and that the Holocaust is basically a fabrication because without the holocaust, you cant blame Hitler for anything else that he did that was bad.

I'm constantly hearing about how the 6 million figure was repeated so many times before ww2 even ended and how holocaust survivors were exposed. They are completely convinced.

The problem is, I literally can't escape it. Every casual chat, it somehow comes back to this. I feel like I'm drowning in it. . It's disturbing to see this literally everyday it's exhausting being constantly exposed to it. What do you even do in this situation? I'm starting to dread hanging out with them. Then they go on to say we've been brainwashed as a society and to "look around you"..

The thing is, I've tried ignoring it hoping it was a phase, but it's been going on for like 3 weeks now..

Tonight, I just felt the need to let something out. It's currently late (depending on where you're reading this from), and I’m writing this with a heavy heart.

I want to talk about my now ex-girlfriend. We were together for four years, and today, I decided to end our relationship. There are many reasons that led me to this decision, but the one that really broke me happened today.

It was my graduation day—something I’ve worked hard for and looked forward to. I was excited to share that moment with her, but she refused to come. She didn’t even say anything nice or encouraging. She just... didn’t care. She told me she doesn’t go to "these kinds of events," and when I finally told her how I felt, her reaction was cold and indifferent.

But to be honest, this wasn’t the first issue. For a long time, she rarely wanted to go out with me, avoided taking accountability for anything, and always blamed me even when she was clearly in the wrong. I started to feel mentally exhausted. My self-esteem took a huge hit. I stopped feeling like myself, and even simple conversations became impossible between us.

Today, I made the decision. I realized it was finally time to let go.