I've been doing better than before. I've been sober for 4 days and I'm back to eating 3 meals a day. I was drinking every day, all day, My record was 15 drinks in one day. I'd start getting tremors and my jaw would shake when I stopped. It was my own personal hell. I needed alcohol to feel happy and to an extent, I still do.

He has a temporary restraining order in place and won't leave me alone. He calls me every day from a new phone number, and each time, I feel so invalidated by the police because their logic is "oh he didn't call you from his registered number so how do you know it was him?" um idk maybe because I don't get random ass calls from weird numbers all the time, and he has spoofed me in the past. Who is so stupid that they're calling from their own phone number in this day and age? It's so frustrating. I get why the burden of proof is on me, but it's like unless he does something so egregious, it's not considered a violation of the order even though it actually is.

I know he's gonna bring his little entourage of enablers with him to court. His mom, his sister, and his homewrecking new girlfriend. To them, he can do no wrong and of course, I'm the crazy vindictive ex no matter how much evidence of his wrongdoing I actually have. I hate the fact that no one believes me no matter how much evidence I provide.

when i was 20, i was strangled by my then boyfriend until i lost consciousness (wayyy more than once). i was very naive and very innocent, and i trusted this boy with my body so much. he pushed me too hard sexually and physically and emotionally and left me after he told me i was “a bad sexual experience” (he had told me he loved me and wanted to be with me… and he knew i was a virgin and had never been touched). I filed a restraining order and the police labeled my encounter with my ex as an attempted murder. this was the real fucked up shit.

flash forward four years, i’m 24. we are here now. the healing and the PTSD from what i experienced at 20 is not at the same volume as it once was, but it colors my perception of romance so deeply.

I fell in love with the first person i was intimate with after my ex. he was so sweet and so kind and the emotional connection was so intense. he was a mess and so was i but we fell into a pattern of being best friends and almost lovers for a year. it was brutal.

a few weeks ago, on my birthday, he kissed me for the first time in months. it escalated and we had a big blow out because i had been honest about how i was in love with him and he told me he was in love with me too but couldn’t be with me. so i told him to get his shit together or i’m cutting him off. he told me he wanted to try being with me, that he loves me and this connection was so rare and special. however, the day i thought he was going to ask me to be his partner he told me he was in love with his coworker. he then proceeded to rip me apart and tell me how i would never be her and how he never saw me as a partner and how crazy i was. he was so close to me, he taught my sister and nephew guitar every week, he was the first person i would speak to every day. he berated me and compared me to this girl that he was in love with, and told me he had been leading me on all this time.

devastated doesn’t begin to cover it. my ptsd is so bad right now and i am crossing my wires with my past and present. i am having flashbacks of being hurt by my ex and its so painful because this friend of mine was such an incredible emotional support for a long time. he knew everything that happened to me.

how did you move through your first big heartbreak after DV? did you experience PTSD? it’s debilitating right now. and i have “friends” telling me that i talk about this too much and im stuck in my pain too much and i “should have left” but they don’t understand. the pain is so deep. i never let anyone touch me. how did you move through it?

My story is not that bad. He only bruised me once. But he threw stuff, broke stuff, drove crazily when mad, blocked me from leaving rooms, told me he was going to kick my ass, etc. I still doubt if it “counts” as abusive or if I was such a naggy shrew that I deserved/caused it. He never hit me. I wasn’t afraid of him all the time, just occasionally. But I was afraid, for years, that he’d cross the line w our kids.

We are divorcing now. I don’t tell a lot of people about the domestic violence, but when I do, I’m surprised by how many of them never say something like, “I’m sorry you went through that. What he did was wrong.” They’ll tell me they’re not judging or change the topic pretty quickly, and that feels hurtful to me.

Does anyone else experience this and feel invalidated by it?

I can’t give too much details about the incident that triggered it because I know my spouse browses Reddit and she would know it was me. But the basic part of it is that I was busy doing something important, she asked me to do something else at the same time, I didn’t hear, a small, easy to clean mess was made because I wasn’t paying attention to it. Then she proceeded to scream at me, tell me I was incapable of even small tasks, imply that I would be an awful parent, then the usual ‘you only care about yourself’ type comments and lots of implying that I’m stupid without actually saying it. After years of just taking this and finding the quickest way to calm her down, I couldn’t take it anymore and I exploded, I screamed back, we screamed at each other, I said a lot of things I regret and shouldn’t have said, and at the end I went home and thankfully she had an appointment to go to so I could be alone. I let my temper get out of control and I want to apologize, but I also don’t want her to just restart the whole thing because I know she doesn’t believe she did a single thing wrong and will not apologize for blowing up on me over small things to begin with. Now she acts all happy like nothing happened, which scares me cause I know she’s keeping this whole incident in her pocket to bring out next time I try to defend myself so she can paint me as incompetent and unstable.

Hey all, I know others have posted on this exact topic but it just happened with me and my partner and he got taken to jail about an hour ago for strangling me.

I will now never see the 6 figure money he owes me bc I think this was the nail in the coffin for the relationship. I guess my safety is more important.

I’m also freaking out bc what happens when he gets out of jail or posts bond and comes home - like am I going to be safe or do I need to get out of here?!?!

(Oddly the statement to the police was mostly from a waitress bc I had confided in her earlier in the day about some stuff never thinking I’d ever see her again…I happened to grab her number just in case I wanted to talk or a friend in the future. I had called her after the incident and asked her to come over and sit in the driveway while I grabbed my belongings when he came out - now I know he was acting - saying that “yes I’m still here and so is the car” like he had called the cops on me for biting him to get him off me. So since I thought he called the police, I knew I needed to bc I was worried they wouldn’t believe me if it was only him calling.)

I kept telling them I didn’t want to press charges or for him to go to jail - the police made the call to arrest him even with me saying that.

I feel like I’ve ruined his life. I feel awful. I’m sick to my stomach. I can’t even be in the main bedroom and just came to the guest room.

I’m freaking out. Please help.

I know the trauma bond is real and powerful but I feel like I’m truly working so hard to break it and maybe it just hasn’t yet. I’m nearly 200 days with him out of my life and it’s so frustrating I still feel like death

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years, and whenever we argue, he threatens to hurt himself. It always leaves me feeling incredibly guilty and emotionally drained.

Recently, I got a job offer abroad—something I’ve worked so hard for and dreamed about for years. But now he’s saying that if I go, he’ll kill himself.

I feel awful, but at the same time, I believe I owe it to myself to pursue this opportunity, especially considering all the things I’ve given up for him in the past.

I’m torn and unsure how to handle this. Is this emotional manipulation? How do I approach this without feeling like I’m abandoning someone, but also not abandoning myself?

I broke up with my narcissistic ex over 3 years ago now. For months after I left I was being stalked by him. I would receive messages from all kinds of fake numbers. He made fake instagram accounts and would follow people i knew to try to trick me into thinking an old friend of mine was requesting to follow me. He had his friend’s friend request me on things. He would park down the street from my house and wait to see if i was going to leave the house. He would park where i worked or even leave notes inside of my car while i was working. About 8 months of this and i finally tried to get a restraining order. Since most of the physical evidence i had was from 8 months ago when we were dating (hard to prove who is sending texts when they use fake phone numbers) they told me they weren’t going to grant me the restraining order and I would have to argue the claim to move forward with it. If I had chosen to move forward they would also be making my ex aware of the fact that I was trying to get a restraining order which would have put me even more at risk. I chose to drop it and try to move on and ignore it best i could after that because him being notified wasn’t worth the risk. Fast forward 3 years and my phone number is always getting set up for insurance calls/other spam calls. Recently he’s started using the textnow apps again to use fake local numbers to text me saying “hey (my name)”. I don’t save phone numbers usually so at first I thought maybe it was someone i knew that i forgot to save the number so i responded asking who it was. He responded saying sup? And i immediately realized who it was and didn’t respond and then I got a naked picture of him asking if i wanted to hook up. I got another message today from another local fake number saying “hi b” and i knew who it was so i asked why he won’t stop texting me (making it clear i know it’s him) and then i got a picture of a random guy that he had clearly found online to send to me as if it wasn’t him. I’m frustrated by all of this and it’s been over 3 years and I just want to be left alone. I really don’t want to have to change my phone number but I’m not sure there’s much else I can do about it at this point.

If you have read this far i appreciate you. If you have any advice i would greatly appreciate it.

He went out drinking to spite me for spending the day with my family. Turned his location and read receipts off and says he’s doing him. I almost feel relief but I can’t stop sitting here paranoid he’s going to come home and terrorize me.

For reference I’ve deleted my posts but he’s the one who strangled me until I couldn’t hear and also poured pine sol on me

Together almost 2.5 years. He’s going through a custody battle. He has other kids, whom I love. We rent a house together. I pay for everything. He loses jobs, I pay and stay. Discovered he cheated on me, with a lot of women. I stayed. I thought he was so broken from his ex taking his youngest and leaving that this was how he was coping.

Caught him again. I miscarried that weekend. Didn’t know I was pregnant. Things got physical and he had me believing that I started it and provoked him. But I didn’t, I was running away from him. Thought we were working on things. I got pregnant, I had an abortion. I’m gutted, in a fight he told me I faked the abortion, it was good thing I had one because he wouldn’t want my genes to mix with his, and that he didn’t know what that pointing to my pregnant stomach was because his baby was out there, referring to his youngest. I stayed.

I even testified in his custody case. I continued to pay for everything, including his car. I caught him coming out of a hotel with a chick 2-3 weeks ago. I haven’t stopped crying. He believes a man can have more than one woman and/or wife. I told him this is the thing that will get me to leave, I can put up with anything else, please don’t do this.

He was going out of town this weekend. I asked him if he was going alone. He asked what kind of question is that, I asked if she was going with him. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he was going alone.

Wednesday night when he said he was at work, I open up my computer he uses, his email is open. I see he is suspended from work without pay, he didn’t tell me. I see his car accident settlement is double what he told me. I know the other chicks name, I figured it out a week ago, and I search her name in his email. She is on the flight information for the trip, she went with him in January to funeral when he had me stay home with all the kids, he took her to football game and lied to me saying he got cut from work and last minute tickets were still available so he is going.

I have not stopped crying. I am sitting in a small apartment as two movers and bringing all my stuff in. I am in my busy right now at work and am devastated.

He doesn’t know I left. He will find out when his 15 year old gets home though, but he will still be states away with his girlfriend. He lands late tonight. I am staying the night at my coworkers because I don’t want to be alone in a new place. I left him a letter and then the proof.

He has lied and gaslit me for years. I do not know what is real or a lie. I wish more than anything he would change. He will blame me for losing his kids, but I didn’t do this.

I hate that I just want him. I hate that I’m completely in love with him. I hate that I believe he could change if he wanted to. I hate how much I don’t want to be doing this or have our relationship end. But I can’t keep staying.

I have never cried so much before. I have never been more terrified and scared in my life.

Is it normal that I want justice for what my abuser did to me but on the other hand I feel sorry for him and I feel guilty? My mind is a mess

I’ve always known something was wrong and even looked into emotional abuse and narcissism the first year (we lived together in college). I decided I might’ve been projecting and that I was the one emotionally abusing him (I have mental illnesses). I’m a very empathetic person, too caring, understanding and kind and have been told that by everybody I know. I experienced a sexual trauma when I was 16 and we were friends during it and he was there for me. I’ve known him since kindergarten but we were friends throughout high school. All four years he asked me out so many times and “waited” for me to be his girlfriend. I feel so used. It’s always made me upset how transactional of a person he is and how he embellishes all his accomplishments and how overconfident he is. This all made me feel powerless. I think he used me for my connections and my friendships and my social standing. He’s been lying and gaslighting me and this whole relationship I thought I was just wrong and my reality was wrong and I was just always wrong. I learned to stop trusting myself. I just don’t know what to do. I love him with all my heart. We’ve been through so much together. But then again I’m a very vulnerable person and probably very easy for him to use. I worry if we break up that he would smear my image and exploit me. I don’t know what to do. He’s a good boyfriend but this changes everything knowing all the things he’s done was fake and for his own benefit. Is there anyway a narcissist isn’t that bad? I’ve read a lot on narcissism but don’t want to accept that they are all the same and that his intentions weren’t out of love and that his love for me this whole time was not genuine. I see the cycle though of him love bombing me to get me close because it brought out crazy attachment issues for me. What do I do. I really want to give him benefit of the doubt and hope that he’s different but I can’t waste time and build up more pain if I realize he’s not gonna change and is just like every other narcissist. This is my first relationship and I’m 20 years old. The reason I didn’t date him for 4 years was because I was traumatized and couldn’t trust anyone but he convinced me to trust him. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. I just don’t want to believe that I’ve been manipulated and gaslighted and lied to for years by someone I trust more than anything. I really don’t want to leave. I don’t want to believe it. I don’t want to leave him.

This one is hard. I made a friend through work last year, and our relationship steadily grew closer until we trauma-bonded through a period of immense personal instability for both of us. They steadily became my best friend, someone who understood me better than anybody, who noticed my subtle shifts in mood. We shared a mutual admiration and respect for one another and on the whole, both of us would express that we felt like we had found an incredible friend in one another. My friend expressed that they wouldn't have survived the past year without me.

But something was always askance. I didn't want to acknowledge it, because the highs of our relationship were so high - but there was an instability and insecurity that bubbled under the surface. We both suffer from mental illness; me Bipolar II, them CPTSD. It's been extremely difficult for both of us, but on the day to day, we expressed support for each other, affirmed each other and opened up to one another.

My friend struggles deeply with irritability. They were frequently angry and I started noticing after a while that I was walking on eggshells around them - even though I couldn't quite admit it to myself. They would snip at me over the volume of my voice, over my mood, over me making jokes. They always insisted it meant nothing - and I believe them - but it hurt. They would frequently forget that we made plans - dip early - cancel; probably about 90% of the time. I tried to be understanding, they had limited social capacity, but the inconsistency was emotionally destabilizing and frustrating, especially since the news was usually not delivered with sensitivity to my time and schedule. Frequently I'd ask something like, "are we still hanging out tonight?" and they'd respond "oh, fuck no". Sometimes they'd say it with glee in their voice. It always rubbed me wrong but I tried not to think much of it.

Living with Bipolar II, I tend to go through alternating periods of hypomania and depression. As of the past year, my depressive episodes have brought me extremely low - to the point of considering suicide. It's been an extremely difficult year and there were multiple times that this happened. Each time I opened up to my friend about this reaching out for support, they responded with hostility and frequently explicitly put up a wall between us, saying that they were distancing themselves or that they couldn't be there for me. I understand that living with CPTSD is difficult, maybe more difficult than I can imagine, and the distancing didn't exactly bother me - it hurt a little, but I understand that sometimes, people just don't have the capacity to be there for you. It sucks, but it's a fact of life. What hurt me most was the frustration and the anger directed towards me for feeling low. I just wanted a kind ear.

Believing we had a solid relationship, I expressed to them that this hurt me. Any time I expressed this, they accused me of guilt tripping them, turning the tables on me and would launch into a tirade about how insensitive I was being to their feelings and their situation, accuse me of being emotionally burdensome, of having too many expectations of them, accusing me of treating them like they could fix me. At most, all I ever asked for was some company when I was feeling low. Apparently this was too high an expectation.

This cycle repeated itself again the other day. For the past two months I've been suffering through severe crying spells, often accompanied by panic attacks. I'm facing bankruptcy and potential divorce. The crying spells are impeding my ability to function normally - I've been asked to leave work multiple times, and I'm generally in a constant state of emotional exhaustion. My friend had been doing a pretty good job supporting me; generally trying to keep the mood light - and they even displayed a lot of attempts to regulate their irritability. It was really pleasant. Then this past Friday I hit my lowest point. I called out of work, suffered multiple panic attacks and didn't stop crying for about 8 hours. That night, my friend sent me a text wishing me well and saying that they hoped I got some good rest. I responded that everything felt so dark, that I felt so alone and terrified. They sent me a response hours later telling me that I was making them angry, and that they would yet again be distancing themselves from me.

I wanted to drown myself right then and there. I texted them back saying that this has become a pattern and that I'm so heartbroken by it. That brings us to yesterday. They responded with some of the most vicious rage I've ever had directed my way in my life, accusing me of guilt tripping them once again, of crossing their boundaries. Then they launched into a tirade, accused me of not wanting to get better (I go to therapy weekly to deal with this and work extensively with a psychiatrist to manage my Bipolar and Depression - I will mention pettily that they do not see a therapist to manage their problems), said that I clearly think they're awful and a bunch of other stuff that is too hurtful for me to recount. After they finished their tirade, they told me both that I was stupid and that I inflicted the tirade upon myself. They crossed every single boundary I had right then and there - they crossed it, stamped on it, and pissed all over it. I tried to give them an out - I said that I loved them, and that I didn't want to us to shit fling at each other, and that I didn't believe that they meant everything they said with the severity they said it in.

Hours later they responded doubling down, telling me that I deserved it, and that nothing they said was cruel. They said it wasn't about my feelings - it was solely about that I had crossed their boundary for a second time. They said they wouldn't let it happen again.

Well, it won't happen again. Today I blocked them on everything - phone, social media, etc. I'm collecting some stuff of theirs that they had loaned to me to give to a friend to return it. I don't care if I get the stuff I loaned them back. They're not getting an explanation. The silence in response to their final text is explanation enough. I will be changing my shifts at work to avoid them as much as possible, and I absolutely - will not - under any circumstances allow myself to be subjected to this kind of emotionally abusive bullshit again.

This post is very angry and spiteful, but I want to caveat it with this. I believe fundamentally that this person is a good person. They want and intend to be good. But they are replicating abusive behaviors that they've been subjected to (their abusive ex was constantly doing things to them that they would frequently do to me during periods of confrontation) and directing it at people who love them. I wasn't perfect. We shared a codependency that was unhealthy and unevenly shouldered. I think my apparent desperation in my moments of loneliness was scary and hard for them to deal with. I said once that they were selfish for running away, and I regretted it and apologized. But I never insulted them. Never ruthlessly impugned their character. I never directed rage at them for their hurt feelings; I always apologized and took steps to amend and change. I'm just feeling so heartbroken - I invested so much in this relationship and in the end what I'm left with is scorn.

I sincerely hope they seek help, and go on to lead a happy and stable life, with stable relationships and love and community. But I can't be there to see it. It's just not safe for me.

My partner is mainly emotionally and financially abusive, with a few instances of physical abuse mainly when I’ve tried to leave. I am in the planning phase of getting out, and I can’t help but wonder where the hell he will go.

He doesn’t work, does not have a car and does not have a place to stay without me. He doesn’t talk to his family either. He’s close to one friend and that friends family so maybe he will go stay with them, but he’s 35 so that’s kind of weird.

I’ve started documenting as much as I can, and I plan to leave with little warning at the end of the current lease, where I’ll pack up my pets and move out of state without him.

This turned out way longer than I expected. TLDR at the end

So he went to jail on 6 days ago. We had court that morning for violation of protection order from a previous domestic (so technically we aren’t allowed to be together legally). Well, obviously we ignored that. Anyway, that morning he refused to go to court because he was trying to avoid the sentencing which could be 3 months to a year in jail. This infuriated me, like be a man and face the consequences of your actions! Not to mention, the months leading up to this court date have been hell because he’s been so stressed out about it (therefore drunk and angry). So he was arrested that day because he didn’t go.

We have been through this many times, he goes in, I say I’m done and break up with him over the phone, he continuously calls me until I answer and I finally give in and get back together with him because he won’t take no for an answer and because as crazy as it sounds, being alone in my apartment without him becomes so depressing and lonely. Things are wonderful for a week and then a blowout happens because I start “nagging” him to get a job or I express how hard it is to not be resentful sometimes because he is fully financially dependent on me, can’t keep a job, I’ve gone into debt to pay his bail, and he’s lied to me many times. I understand those are choices I made, but he has no sympathy when I’m stressed about bills and doesn’t even seem grateful. We also both struggle with alcohol, and while I do consider myself an alcoholic, I’m not an angry negative person so I usually get along with everyone when I drink or I just get sad and isolate, where he gets very angry and violent. Obviously, alcohol can add fuel to the fire, but toward the end he would use that to manipulate me by saying “you do the same things to me” “you drink too much too” because yes, I have retaliated against the verbal and physical abuse while I’ve been drunk, but who instigated it! That behavior isn’t even in my character, but having the person you love berating you for long enough can push someone to the edge. That confused me for so long because I felt so guilty. Some of the things he’s said to me have been that I’m fat, super ugly, I need to learn how to fuck, my pussy stinks, he should be embarrassed to be with me because my ex was so ugly, I’m the craziest bitch he’s ever been with, I’m a slob, I never cook or clean (which is crazy because half the time he wouldn’t let me clean- it was bizarre), I’ll never fall in love with someone as much as him, I can’t leave him because his kids are attached to me, I can’t leave him because he has nobody else and nowhere to go, he’s showed me videos of his ex giving him a bj and her nudes, no wonder nobody wants you, etc

Well this time it’s different. I’m taking a huge step by moving in with family, even though it hurts my ego to give up my independence, but a stipulation of me living here is I have to get therapy and not be with him anymore. I really need this support to hold me accountable because I can’t resist him when I’m by myself all the time. I used to think that made me weak, but I’m so desperate to not be in this anymore that I’ll do anything.

So yesterday I blocked the jail number and sent him a long text (yes you can text people in jail). I wasn’t hateful at all and simply said I’m ending the relationship and we won’t be having any contact anymore. I also said it isn’t fair for him to say that I do the same abusive things to him that he does to me, because every time that has happened it’s in retaliation from him verbally or physically attacking me. I told him I no longer think our relationship has a shot at getting better and wished him the best.

So far his texts have said how heartbroken he is and how he can’t believe I would do this to him in jail, that I’m all he has, and how I’m leaving him when he’s about to be fit and mature and sober because he’s going to be in jail for so long. In every text he’s sent he always mentions “have fun finding another guy who makes you laugh like me” “have fun finding another guy who cuddles you like me”. It’s like instead of realizing “holy shit, I really pushed someone I love away” it’s “I can’t believe I’m treated like this”.

Before, I would have actually felt bad for him because he’s sad and we would already be talking lovey dovey on the phone. I truly am all he has as far a place to live, so I’m sure he’s scared of the unknown when he gets out of jail, but guess what? HE’S HAD TWO YEARS TO TAKE STEPS TO CHANGE, AND IT ISNT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE. I hope he gets out and has a spiritual awakening or something as he has children from a previous relationship. They deserve a dad. I’ve seen him be a great father too, which makes it even more sad.

TLDR; I finally left and he’s trying to make me feel sorry for him (which has worked countless times in the past two years). This time I’m not falling for it and literally moved out of the apartment we had our abusive relationship at, which was the major factor preventing me from leaving before because of my lease, where to live, can’t bring my pets, etc. the details of moving can be overwhelming but I’m so scared of getting back together with him I don’t care. I expect mean hateful texts to begin soon, but he’s already hurt me bad enough with his words it doesn’t make a difference.

My wedding anniversary is April 16th. On my wedding day, at the after party at our resort bar we were all drinking. He hadn’t paid much attention to me all day. It felt lonely in my head. I thought, ok I’ll tell him come up to the room in ten minutes - wink wink. I said that, went up there. Tried on the lingerie I had dieted and worked out to the extreme for. I took pictures in poses to see how it all looked. I primped and then eventually passed out. When I woke up, he was absolutely hammered drunk and was calling all these names saying I was a whore and kicked me out of the honeymoon suite. I grabbed 5 random bags and my wedding dress. He threw his ring down the hallway. Not knowing what do, I went to a side bench by the elevators in the main lobby and called my bestest. I was there all night cried until there were no more tears. Then the sun came up. A bunch of beautiful girls started walking by. It was the falcon’s cheerleaders as they were doing some event there. I’ll never forget their looks at me. Some pity. Some sadness. There’s so much more to that story but suffice to say he said that I left that bar and went and fucked a stranger on my wedding night. The day you wanted to be treated like a princess I was treated worse than a common whore. Last year I found out my brother in law told my husband that I left to fuck the stranger. I also found out that the entire wedding party and guests heard. They all judged, some thought I did some were like I don’t know. WHAT IN THE FUCK. I’m horrified these people continued to be in my life up until my starting to disintangle this marriage. I was woken up and screamed at clueless as to what happened and why this man I just married was spit screaming at me this venom string of hate. For 13 yrs I did not know that everyone knew. To know then that they all thought that, it now makes all these jokes made at my expense over the years make sense. The weird way I was treated. He’s the angel, I’m the slut. I deserve all the meanness. My anniversary is a huge trigger, it’s 4/16. I am scheduled to work a wedding on 4/12. I am hyperventilating thinking about it. I am the embodiment of the opposite of a wedding. I am trying to get divorced. Much more than a divorce actually. I am trying to get free. I can’t work this wedding. I can’t do it. It will set me back. I’m shaking thinking about it and I can’t breathe.

(wlw relationship) She keeps trying to promise me the world now and goes back and forth between guilt-tripping me and saying she loves me to go back and i’m having a really hard time not moving a litttle at all, I took a big step today just taking a few of my things and just walking out but now i’m being turned into the bad guy for trying to do something that will be good for myself after months of mental torture

I am a shell of a person, the world seems like a scary place and I don't know where to start on how to heal from everything I have been through. I have always been someone that sees the good in people and to always give the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to lose that loving and optimistic part of myself, and I don't want to grow into a distrustful and bitter person.

I am so incredibly hurt.

My ex of three years has almost ended my life on several occasions, and yet I still care deeply about him. We broke up a few months ago, and he didn't take it well or accept it. He's been trying to get me back every day since the breakup. He started going to therapy and genuinely looked like he was trying to get better this time. He told me proudly that he was going to therapy and anger management for us. I told him that I'm happy for him, but I didn't see us ever getting back together since our last fight was brutal and I no longer trusted him. He spiraled so hard ever since that day I told him that and he tried to end his life a few days ago. He kept telling me on text that's he's going to do it and my friends told me it's just empty threats and a manipulation tactic. I've been feeling physically sick and overwhelmed with guilt ever since I got that phone call. His family and friends are all blaming me, and I'm blaming myself too. Right now, I feel like my only option is to go back. Can enough therapy truly change an abusive man?

Yesterday, I had another shouting match with my mother.

I was peacefully crying in my coffee, she started nagging because it annoys her that I'm crying so I just let go of some of my current frustrations. What ensued was neither nice nor fair on both sides but when she concluded by calling me lazy, useless and whatnot and if I don't like it there, I can fuck off... I just poured the rest of my coffee to the sink, cleaned my mug so that I could pack it and fucked off.

Now I'm getting increasingly manipulative messages from my father that I should return, that this is not a solution to problems etc. Good Lawd, I was staying with them for the need of mutual help but at the end, I was the one who did everything wrong, my job was not worthy enough, whatever I did could have been done better. When I explained that I need mental health treatment, they disagreed. I should just tough it out, I am not depressed at all, it's just in my head, my doc is an asshole because he didn't cure me yet (yes, mom, and why are you seeing your endocrinologist every half a year, is he an idiot as well? - but, but, it's something entirely different...) and I can't stay in hospital because who will paint the fence.

I have a place to stay, a year's worth of soap, full pantry but no job lined up. I don't know what to do next. I still need to move some stuff from parents', including my cat, preferably when they are not at home.

Just tell me that it will be okay and that it's normal to have all the emotions at once.

I woke up, great mood. I started doing my puzzle, I love my puzzle. Its something that i can get fully emerged in and not have any repercussions. But of course, on the day where it started great, it ended just as quickly as it started. He was planning on selling something today from Facebook marketplace, and of course he didn't tell me. So I get the call that "i should of known" "i should keep my phone on loud" "I have a phone and I should use it". Calls me a few minutes later, says quick sorry. That's it. Dude ruins my whole day and doesn't acknowledge it 😒 im not even hungry for lunch anymore

I have been dealing with my boyfriend since October of last year. We have been on and off since then and recently things have been significantly going downhill between us, mainly because of him.

Hes been provoking me and saying things to get a reaction out of me. We had gone to go get some food when he came back from hanging out with his brothers. There was a guy that was looking at me in the gas station and I had looked back at them to see if I recognized them. He got upset and started saying things under his breath and was telling me that if he sees a girl that he will talk to her and stare at her??? Basically trying to punish for taking a GLIMPSE at 2 random strangers in the gas station.

The whole car ride home he is just going on and on and will randomly go from being upset and then being super nice to try and reel me back in and the cycle repeats. He kept saying things when we got back to his place and I couldn’t take it so I grabbed his hair and told him to stop. He then proceeded to get up and we continue arguing and he chokes me over 5 times, aggressively. My throat is still aching as I’m typing this… I don’t know how to react to this situation honestly. I’m more than likely pregnant with his child and don’t think it would be healthy to proceed in our relationship.

I need help. I need to get my daughter and I away but I am afraid of how much he will fight for custody. I’m worried of how she will be treated when I’m not around. I was trying to wait but I can’t. We are married so that adds to it/makes it harder. Planning to talk to a lawyer but that still takes time

When I seek help everyone either just tells me I need to leave or offers resources for DV shelters and escape plan.

If I leave how do I keep her safe let alone myself.

We’re still in this love bombing stage which is confusing, frustrating and worrying me (the tension of all the nice things he’s doing will be used against me).

My people are out of state and he has many many many people here to help him hide if he does that.

So where do I start? I’ve been with my bf for 2.5 years. We’re both 19, started dating right after we turned 17. I haven’t been the perfect gf. Nobody is. There are times when I should’ve called him or shown more affection. I could’ve done a better job at remembering important things about his family. I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve owned up to them. I never did anything detrimental. I didn’t cheat. I’ve been nothing but loyal to him.

Now that you have some context, let’s go over this. This type of situation happens every 1-2 months btw.

It’s a random night, we’re in bed together. We’re watching tv and the characters are eating a food in it. He asks me if I remember what that food is, I say no. He’s like “that’s sad” and tells me that I made that food with his dad. I didn’t remember because we hadn’t made the things for over a year, and the name of them wasn’t in English. Instead of just telling me and moving on, he continues to berate me for another 10-20mins. Finally he gets over it and decided to switch targets. He asks me about his grandpa. I don’t know his name either because everyone uses his nickname (which I did know). He was LIVID about that. This spirals into him nitpicking every bad thing I’ve ever done. He continues to put me down and make me feel worse, telling me to add the the convo but getting more mad or mocking me every time I add something. It doesn’t even matter whether it’s an apology or reason for my actions, he won’t even let me try. A few highlights: “You’re a horrible gf” (that’s his favourite one) “I hate you/fuck you” “Then get out of my house” - proceeds to get mad when I get up to leave “What is wrong with you?”

Eventually he stops and we lay in silence before he opens his mouth again and tries to engage me in this nightmare of an “argument”. He does this a few times before giving up. This shit goes on until 3/4am. It started at like 11. He gives me a half assed “sorry” and finally shuts the fuck up so we can go to sleep. Then gets mad again cuz he can’t fall asleep. I stopped caring at this point and slept for 2 hours before leaving in the morning. The next night, he comes over and gives me another half assed apology, which I took cuz honestly I was too tired to really care (and honestly I felt like a bad person/gf after everything). He’s been acting all affectionate and being nice ever since. I feel nothing. No sexual desire for him. No renewed sense of love. No desire to reciprocate this affection more than I have to. I don’t believe a single nice thing he says about me. I’ll see where this takes me because I’m getting really fucking tired.