i so desperately want to be normal.

i want people to stop telling me i talk so much and listen to what i have to say. i want to stop being so reactive. so loud, so unintentionally assertive. but it seems like a lot of the times everyone else around me can be more so those things than i. is that my fault for not setting those boundaries?

23(f) and i really dont want to be myself anymore. all my friendships the past few yrs have ended in major fallouts, and they escalate as they go because i’m just so drained from the last experience and so flabbergasted by the next.

i told myself a few days ago i would never regret that i talk so much because it luckily got me out of the abusive situation i was in. i had to tell someone, i had to share the info because it was too heavy for me. a lot of people aren’t like that, and stay trapped.

i think my abuser actually ended it because he knew how hard of a line it was for me when he touched me the way he did. he knew there was no going back. it feels like everyone else i’ve had fallouts with feel the same way. just once i wish someone would beg to keep me in their life, instead of me just sitting and crying about people who literally were not good friends to me. yet i can’t let them go. i want so desperately to not be alone with myself.

i just want to withdraw into myself forever. i don’t want to be alive, i don’t see much potential in my life anymore. i have no motivation to survive. i hate that i’m like this, i hate that i care so much, i hate that i have to crash out on people for my closure, i hate that i’m the problem. i just wish i understood people.

(yes i am signing up for therapy and no i don’t think it’ll help, i’ve practiced “healthy coping mechanisms” for yrs, gotten into meditation, scheduling, sobriety, journalling, painting, i feel no better than i did at 17 when i first went to therapy. i’ve been in and out of therapy for almost a decade, with the most recent therapist cutting me off and asking me, “do you usually talk this much?”

i guess i need to learn how to speak more concisely. the thing is i just have a lot to say. but no one seems to care, and even if they did i don’t want them knowing it was from me. i wish i wasn’t me.

hi, my friend who i have a crush on sends me couple tiktoks like pretty often do u think he means in it a flirty way or am i just reading into it cause i like him thanks !

19 m getting kicked out in july because my stepdad is an actual prick. i have a full time job that pays decently enough. my gf also works. i was looking to go back to school but that doesn’t sound realistic anymore. where do i start?

My husband has a son from his first marriage, but he doesn’t take care of him. I keep urging him to visit his son, to spend time with him and play, but all I get are excuses like, 'I’m too busy with work' or 'I don’t have time.'

Ever since we got married, he’s been constantly asking when we’ll have a child together—but I’m afraid that if we do, I’ll be the only one raising them. He pays child support to his ex-wife, but that’s it. Where’s the actual involvement in his child’s life? He claims he’s 'too tired,' but is that really a valid excuse? He hasn’t seen his son in three months. Don’t you think this is a major red flag?

I don't really have anybody else to talk to about this (also, sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language).

I have controlling parents, they went as far as rarely letting me get out of my house, choosing which people i should befriend, taking all of my stuff, controlling my bank accounts (I've been earning money since i was 14), not letting me decide for myself, yada yada all that stuff and they also like my brother more than me and they don't even hide it.

I've been trying to get in their good side so they'd let me pick what university i want to get into and it worked, so i applied to as many universities from different states as i can and i recently got accepted into a university that is far away from home, i have the choice to move out and enroll to that University however, that would mean i have to study the program i don't like. But there's this other university that offered me a scholarship for the undergrad program i want but that means i have to stay with my family and now i don't know what to do. Should i choose my dreams over my freedom? Or my freedom over my dreams?

So basically my friend I'll call her S told me apparently one of her other friends C asked if I was autistic be apparently one time S invited me to talk to her and C and i don't remember what I even said in that conversation but W asked if I was autistic, I was prob talking about some stupid make believe stuff be I joke around a lot. I asked S why does everyone think I'm autistic and she was like it's prob be u have a different humor then the rest of us which kinda hurt my feelings. Another time at a party that S was at another one of her friends I'll js call him L said "! think Ben (me) is autistic". It's kinda hurting my feelings that S keeps telling me all these stories of ppl calling me autistic I don't have anything against autistic people I js feel like it's not even the right word to describe me. Idk why but I have a feelingS is contributing to ppl making fun of me and is like feeding to them stories about me and making fun of me behind my back too. And another time I don't remember the whole context but like S said "only when we're making fun of u" which sounds like S is making fun of me too, but idk if she's js being honest or js being like blunt because she also said "don't care abt what other ppl think" but i feel likes she's making fun of me too

When I say death I don’t mean suicide. I’m just saying I’ve traveled most parts of the US for work and have meet a lot of people. Some have basically almost become family. But as I’m aging (31m) I just can’t get it out of my head lately that time’s just slipping by. I’ve had old friends become memories (from passing away) I’ve had friends retire (there’s nothing wrong with that just reminds about time just slipping away) and about the death thing, I know it’s coming sooner or later just want time to slow down a bit so maybe I can enjoy my kids just a little bit longer. How do you cope with this?

Hi, for some while now something weird happened to me. So I found a streamer on twitch that I like, like I like his content, I like the way he socialize with his community and he seems like a wholesome person in general. He is still a relatively small streamer and he still talks with nearly everyone in his community. The problem is that I'm very tempted to send him a message in discord in private because I would really want to be his friend (I think we have some things in common and we'd get along) or try to and I feel like that it's weird. Please I need a brutal opinion because I feel like I'm one of those parasocial relationships people and I hope not. Thanks for reading this thing.

Earlier i had interest in carrer and finance but now i do not have willingness to do those things what might be the reason?

My parents have recently found out that I have done coke trough them actually seeing me on it and people (that I told in confidence) telling them I have done it, and I have to face the fact that I have to tell them. Not much of an advice from you’s but personal experiences if any

I’ve recently gotten approached to be in a documentary getting made for something traumatic I went through. It would be a big deal and a lot of people would see it, but I don’t know if I feel ready for it. On the other hand, I’ve wanted to share my story for so long. Any advice?

Hi, this is my first time asking for advice so I hope it turns out well and please don't be mean in the comments. I lost my job earlier this year, like thousands of others, and am spending my days kind of just whiling away now.

I'm in my mid to late 30s and find that most of my social circles from the past have vanished. Making friends and sustaining relationships used to be so easy in school or in the workplace, but without these environments wherein I see the same people day after day, I'm finding it so hard to make connections with others.

For context, I'm in Singapore and don't live very centrally. I've gone to a couple of MeetUp events but have found all the interactions so awkward and painful (understandably, I guess, because trying to strike up conversations out of nothing is not alway easy) and haven't wanted to go again.

I feel very isolated, and I'm not fit enough to join (or enjoy) running clubs. I'm not sure what to do about this?? I read that loneliness kills so I'm trying to rectify this situation ASAP. Does anyone know of low stakes social clubs, where people just sit together and, I don't know, craft or read together?? Or any other advice would be welcome, too.

So there’s this guy—let’s call him Mike. I’ve known Mike for about two years. We were never really close friends, more like mutuals who hung out occasionally if we were in the same group. He’d tag along with a friend of mine if we were going somewhere, but that’s about it.

About a year ago, I met a girl on Instagram who lives in my city, not too far from me. We started talking, vibed really well, and over time we both started liking each other. We’ve been talking consistently ever since April 2024

Early on, she told me there was a guy who used to stalk her. She said she only talked to him for about a week before she realized he was weird and cut him off. Since then, he’s been making fake accounts to message her, stalk her stories, and try to add her. She blocks every account without interacting, but he still keeps coming back. He even messages any guy she talks to, just to scare them off.

She didn’t tell me his name right away—but when she finally did, I was shocked. It was Mike. The same guy I’d known for two years.

When Mike found out I was talking to her, he started texting me, threatening me. I didn’t want any drama, so I told him I’d block her just to get him off my back. That was about six months ago.

Fast forward to now—one of my close friends (let’s call him John), who knows everything, including the fact that Mike stalks her, gave Mike my number again (I recently moved countries and changed numbers). Now Mike is texting me again with threats. I didn’t respond—I just blocked him immediately.

I told the girl everything. She said she’s been dealing with this behavior from Mike for almost three years and advised me to just block and ignore him.

The problem is, I’ve never had to deal with something like this before. And I’m from Pakistan, so legal action here is honestly a waste of time—especially for stuff like online harassment. I feel stuck.

What should I do? Any advice would help.

Looking for financial advice. I’m 28 yrs old, with about 32k in 401k savings. I’ve been aggressively tackling my debt I’m down to less than 10k car loan and 15k student loans. I’m wondering if it would be a good idea to borrow money from my 401k to pay off my car loan so I can start attacking my student loans before I graduate next May as they are interest free until then. I would only need to borrow 6k as I would have enough in my personal savings account to cover the other 4k and have enough for an emergency fund. As a 401k loan is tax free I’m wondering if now is a good time to do this as the market is down and I wouldn’t be losing out on much capital gain.

Hey, I want to help my best friend out so much and I don't know what to do or what I can do. Essentially her mother is unable to work or support her. My friend currently has a part time job, but a long time ago (she didnt tell me until recently) she got really desperate to be able to cover rent and support her mother, so she did things. One of these things led to her being dependant on this one man in specific to pretty much help cover her rent, but she has to do sexual favors for his son and basically be his girlfriend. This has been ongoing for over a year and she was scared to open up about it to me because they have access to her social medias and she is terrified that she and her mother will go homeless if she makes them angry. I'm sure there are more details she might be leaving out. I have just started working again recently at a part time job just to cover some of my minimum expenses, but I am applying to new jobs to work full time and do anything I can to try and help her. We have been childhood friends and grown up together. I just need advice or help I don't know what I can do for her, this is the most important thing in my life right now. Feel free to ask more questions below and I will share everything I can.

Last night my dad and I were talking and he mentioned that my fiancé (26M) rubs him the wrong way. He didn’t tell me this before and my wedding is set for this summer. Idk why he waited to tell me this now. He said he’s not a bad guy but that he feels my fiancé only cares about money and that he never lets his “hair down” and my dad thinks he’s uptight and not “fun loving” and asked if him and I have anything in common. I assured him we do and told him the things we have in common. My dad thinks he’s too confident and not down to earth enough. For example, my dad asked my fiancé the other night what he’s going to do for his dads birthday, and my fiancé told him “my mom and dad and I are going to look at some properties at the coast since my parents want to build a second house there for themselves and then we’ll go surfing get dinner etc” and my dad was annoyed by that and thought he was bragging, but I could tell he absolutely wasn’t, he was just explaining truthfully what they were going to do. My parents have never tried much to get to know him very well though. He’s definitely way different from my family. My family is super down to earth, parties/has fun, but doesn’t worry about money much or plan things (which is something I grew up upset about) but they’re nice people.

I think part of it could be that my parents don’t have much money and my fiancé has a good job and comes from way more money than us. Or maybe he genuinely doesn’t like my fiancé, but I feel weird now and kind of sad. Do I tell my fiancé about this or not?

EDIT: I didn’t think this post about my situation would be as popular as it is. I am deciding what to do still, but will keep reading all the advice. I appreciate all the thoughtful responses and will try to get back to some of you. Thanks again for the advice 😊 (Besides the pervy joke people 🙄 🤣)

This is the first time l've had feelings for a man, and it's all new to me. I can't even talk to him about it because I don't know how he'll react. I'm afraid I might lose him if say something. But at the same time, I can't stop thinking about him.

|'m 23 and he's 33, and these feelings are so strange to me. I want to be around him all the time, I want to talk to him constantly The hardest part is that he's also really nice to me, and I don't know if he understands what 'm feeling. He hasn't shown that he does-or maybe I just can't tell--and that confusion really hurts. I don't know what to think. I'm scared to talk to him about all of this because I don't want to lose him, but at the same time, not knowing what to do is hurting me too.

I need some advices.

I've been talking to this girl for a couple of months and started dating her a couple weeks back, we are both in our senior year in highschool and shes going abroad to study post secondary and im staying in Canada. Although she hasn't accepted the admission she is most likely going there. She is my first everything and I'm unsure whether I should continue to date her and spend the next 4-5 months I have left with her knowing that we are going to most likely break up after those months since she and I both know we couldn't do long distance especially in our post secondary years. At the time when I was a virgin I asked her how many past partners she had and what her body count was before me. She told me it was a body count of 1 and that there weren't that many past partners, I asked around and even looked through her phone where I saw her with other guys. I feel like I'm just a rebound, one last fling or some shit like that and I don't know what to do. On sunday she is supposed to meet my parents and I have literally no idea what to do, also i plan on telling her how i feel and even staying friends before she meets my parents...

any advice or just like random statements is appreciated thanks.

I come from a old stereotype mindset family and If they got to know about my online distance relationship they'll just prove me rebel and will put me all locked up after taking my phone, restrictions will be too much. But right now I'm too depressed about my boyfriend who's dad passed away recently and He's in vulnerable state that even his family can't understand. He is indeed a intelligent guy and perfect in every aspect bt he's just too sensitive for his dad. He loved his dad as his life..his God..his everything. He's maratha and told me he sees Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj in his dad and for him his dad is on top of everything also he doesn't feel attachment with the other members of family. Her mom is little tough type of lady and most of the time emotion less. She just want everything perfect done in her way. That's why my boyfriend love her too bt their thinking doesn't align also doesn't feel attached. As I said he's too sensitive for his dad he told me he can't imagine his life without his dad..he doesn't want to live without him not even a single day. His dad was last stage CKD patient and He did everything he could do to save his life and when his father was serious he attempted sucide two times and told me to forgive him and said he has insurence, his family will get money after him and he'll tell his maternal uncles to take care of his family. I know my dad my dad won't be anymore so I can't survive..I will never be able to bear that pain.. I'll take my life no matter what people say after me. Now his condition is too serious.. he's crying all day..not even talking to anyone not even listening.. eating.. nothing. He told me he can't live for himself, he needs a strong reason to live like his Dad and me(his gd) cuz he said I'm the second one he can live for her.. I'm the one who understands and selflessly love him as much as his dad. I want to marry you asap and as long as his dad is alive. Now everything is worsen up. As I mentioned about my family.. they aren't even letting me go there just for once..I know he'll feel grounded if I meet him..we never met before because my family doesn't let me go out ..not even for study..bt we're thinking that we'll meet when I'll go out for my post graduation. I'll convince my dad for that and once my dad was agree too so we're having a hope. He said he'll talk to my dad and convince them for us no matter what it take. I'll do anything. Now I'm afraid what he's gonna do..his situation is too serious..he is not even talking to me and I know what is the purpose behind this. I'm crying all day..all night 😭 I have no idea what to do anymore. We live more than thousand kms away (uttar pradesh--Maharashtra). I have AD SLE and it's flaring up. I'm not even able to walk. I told my trusted cousin everything bt he said first it's not easy to go there and even if I take you there with me by making any kind of excuse like exam.. he'll get more depressed after seeing you cuz you're not gonna stay there with him.. he'll think his dad has gone and now I'm going to after staying like 3..4 hrs and secondly you both have no future your parents never allow you marry there I'm telling you clearly even if I support you nothing is gonna happen so it will be right to leave this relationship and focus on your health and life. If your parents got to know situation will be too dangerous they'll marry you up in less than year with other guy and you won't be able to do anything for yourself. Now my sister also got to know everything about us by seeing chatgpt history 😭 right now she's threatening me also that she'll tell everything to mom dad.😭😭 And saying give your phone to dad for a month then I won't tell anything. Har trf se problem aa gayi ek time par hi😭 Now I don't know what to do anymore..I don't feel like living anymore 😭

I am 16 years old(f) and I have always had a rocky relationship with my mother but recently it feels like we’re fighting everyday. I am in band and my mom is always nagging me to practice my instrument but I’ve told her countless times that I don’t enjoy band and that I would like to quit. But she always ignores me and says that I can’t. And I will admit sometimes I get bratty when asked to practice because I really just do not enjoy it. And when this happens we fight(which is almost everyday recently) and she takes my phone, charger, any other electronics, car keys, my door, and many other of my valuables. She will also hit me sometimes and one time had dragged me across our hallways by my hair during one of our fights. But she also says things that I honestly can’t tell if they are jokes or not like, “I’m going to kill you” and “I want to strangle her so bad” to my dad. We just had one of our fights and she tools everything and was yelling like crazy and saying threats that actually have scared me so bad I’m hiding under a bed in our basement and I freeze every time I hear footsteps and try to stop my crying. But I feel like I might be exaggerating and that this isn’t technically abuse. I’m not sure so any advise on what I should and if my feelings are valid or not would be helpful.

Idk if I'm in the right sub, but, maybe someone can help. Long story short, I had some issues with my TMJ this week. First time it's ever been that bad (pain, etc). I will preface this by saying I'm autistic and have sensory issues, so once something feels "off", I cannot stop thinking about it or leave it alone.

When I bite or align my back teeth, my two bottom front teeth hit the upper front teeth and it's uncomfortable.

Is this because I've been repeating that motion to test if I'm in pain, or is it an actual problem? Will it go away if I stop worrying/testing it?

Any help is appreciated! Thank you!

Hello, I’m trying to figure out if someone is still married. How can i do it for free?

I am 18f and I feel socially stunted. When I was in elementary school I was very outgoing and made friends easily, but starting in 7th grade I started having bad social and just general anxiety. Since then I have largely gotten better with my anxiety but I have just forgotten how to socialize. Now I’m 18 and about to graduate high school and I haven’t really made a single friend since 8th grade except for my boyfriend of over 2 years. I feel like I don’t know how to talk to people, I always say awkward or uncomfortable things, and I just generally don’t fit in with people around me. Luckily I have a couple of friendships that have lasted me since middle school but even with them I’m still often just weird and uncomfortable. I also don’t see or even talk to them very often. I know I don’t say the right things and don’t act correctly but I don’t know what I’m supposed to say and do.

I really really want to get better at this with my current friends and be able to make new friends too. I don’t want to be this way in college. Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome a problem like this?

I was born with spinal and leg problems, and needed a lot of physical therapy as a kid. As an adult I was generally fine, but my job has had me walking miles every single day for months on end and my ankles hurting so badly that I don't think I'll be able keep it up. I've been trying to get transferred to a role where I could sit more but my manager is blocking everything because we're so short staffed. I don't really want a whole new job and I can't trust them to be honest about the parameters because this wasn't in my job description to begin with.