r/Unexpected • u/A_MASSIVE_PERVERT • 1d ago

Toxic Relationship

76.2k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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513

u/No-Poem-9846 1d ago

Idk but is it teabagging if they are neutered and have no sack? What if they are neutered and have an empty - nvm šŸ¤£

376

u/SuumCuique1011 1d ago

Neutered or not, a cat asshole on the face while you're sleeping is never a welcome surprise.

135

u/Lilswingingdick212 1d ago

I think itā€™s cute how proud they are of their assholes but I still donā€™t want them on my face

37

u/Important_Newt5727 1d ago

I think it's toxoplasma controlling them, trying to spread to humansĀ 

57

u/CoolVictory04 1d ago

Fr, once my cat was about to put her asshole on my mouth, thankfully I woke up just in time before she did it, why they do that omg

54

u/BobknobSA 1d ago

I have had 8 cats during my lifetime. Most of them would sleep in my bed. None have ever put their asshole on my face. What the hell?

39

u/CoolVictory04 1d ago

Why? Do you want it?

26

u/BobknobSA 1d ago

No thanks. I am good. I just didn't know it was common.

19

u/CoolVictory04 1d ago

You might've got one, while you were sleeping, who knows, they might even be freaky with you...

11

u/nrfx 22h ago

You should try the lipstick experiment to see if they're getting you in your sleep.

18

u/LuxNocte 21h ago

I thought you meant wear lipstick to bed, to see if it's covered in cat fur when you wake up. And through the power of delusion and reality denial, I still think that.

6

u/MsSupa 20h ago

Thank you for this, I love you!

2

u/_-_p 17h ago

Holy shit, what year is it?

3

u/nrfx 15h ago

2004

I'm honestly impressed I remembered and found the exact post I had in mind when I started typing it.

2

u/_-_p 8h ago

that takes me back. My favorite Fark memory is Scott Adams making fake accounts to call himself a genius

2

u/RedditEqualsBubble 21h ago

That you know of. Sneaky little bastards.

2

u/Unlucky-Tie8574 13h ago

That's what you think...

1

u/mazarax 20h ago

You probably have toxoplasmosis by now. They didnā€™t need to infect you again.

8

u/mddesigner 1d ago

Your cat put it on your mouth, you just noticed it the third time

6

u/CoolVictory04 23h ago

No, don't, I'm fine as is, not knowing about that...

3

u/crooked_cat 1d ago

Itā€™s the moment you can show your love .. I donā€™t like it either though hhh Catsā€¦

2

u/cyrusthemarginal 18h ago

they want us to clean it for em

2

u/MikeDchy 7h ago

At least they're not like dogs, who jump on the bed, then on top of you and star liking the crap out of your face and don't stop no matter how much you tell them to FO. When we had a dog, in the mornings, if she would trot into another room, šŸ• I would hear immediately after "aaaah STOP. I said stop yah "bloody" Dog. Go away now. That's a good dog. Aaah, get off me. Let me sleep. OK, OK, stooooop." šŸ˜‚ 10 mins later, moves on to the next victim in another room... aaaaand so on.

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u/OpenSourcePenguin 1d ago

Or asshole belonging to any species

3

u/telerabbit9000 1d ago

Speak for yourself!

2

u/mcmelon2461 16h ago

Agree. You open you eyea in morning and first thing you see is hell.

8

u/Jean-LucBacardi 23h ago edited 22h ago

That's just bagging. All bag no (T)estosterone

1

u/Iwillnevercomeback 16h ago

Eunuch squatting

1

u/Flimsy_Touch_8383 13h ago

Thatā€™s just herbal caffeine free tea

1

u/turb42o 13h ago

it would be bagginā€¦ no tea, just baggin

or dingleberrying

1

u/One_shot_Willy 7h ago

I think if it's neutered, you might call it brown bagging

1

u/otter_boom 4h ago

That's called a Boston Tea Party.

1

u/louisa1925 3h ago

Cat's into scat games.