We should start a club, where we fix all our problems and cope with stuff, and motivate each other... I have it all planned out it's gonna be great, I've even made most of a mind map detailing exactly how it should look.. I'm on Reddit right now, but after that's done I'll get to it later..
(This is a joke meant to be funny, but so painfully true and the same cycle I've been on for years.. it's almost a cosmic joke that I've/we've got the abilities and wherewithal but somehow don't follow through.. worst part is in those panicked moments we HAVE created objectively awesome stuff and that's how we've gotten by and KNOW we can do it. But it takes a crisis or deadline to sit down and finish.)
I completely understand that feeling he mentions of "I know I should do this, I know it's gonna suck if I don't do this now. But then still don't do it. I always figured that once I identified the 'inaction' it would be easy to correct, but it's weirdly not enough.
I imagine it's kind of akin to hard drug users who watch themselves making the bad choice, know it's bad but do it anyways.. except when I watch myself do it my payoff isn't even an awesome drug trip, it's just a bit of time on reddit, or YouTube, or tv, or "fapping".. don't get me wrong I love those things, but it's totally not worth the hassle later and I Know that, and yet I do it. (Even this very second I'm supposed to be working on my resume and LinkedIn, huge consequences, but here I am spending a few extra min to write this out... and for what? Lol... not lol..
It would be a bloody miracle if i ever manage to read all the articles and stuff i have opened in (~100) separate tabs. Some have been there for weeks or months, since the last time i lost my browser session...
I get about 3 paragraphs or so into one, and then can't focus on it anymore and switch to something else. By the time I get back to it I usually have to start over and the cycle continues.
I used to be able to focus on things for hours. I can't seem to do that anymore. Haven't been able to for at least the last 8-10 years. Not sure if it's some form of ADHD or something else altogether. I just wish I could focus again.
You should look into dopamine addiction, all of those things you claimed weren't drugs, do in fact release a chemical in your brain called dopamine. There are a few psychologists out there convinced the "40-60%" rise in ADHD is actually just a bunch of dopamine addicts. We constantly check our phones, eat unhealthy foods, binge watch tv shows, all because we want that feel good affect that comes from dopamine.
Thank you for sharing! Seriously, that was an awesome talk, both for understanding "frontal lobe disorders" and for understanding effective business/groups too.
At 45 min its definitely a hard sell to people, but it is insanely informative and thought provoking (about so many aspects of life)
You should post that video somewhere on Reddit with a catchy title. If this ADHD post got 2 gold, that one deserves 4. Seriously, thank you for sharing. Have some Serotonin, on me!
great talk, really made a lot of the things I've been feeling make sense. The things he went over is also one of the reasons why I choose not to have a phone. The downside is that out of my group of friends, I'm the only one who seems to be aware of my surroundings and they can't focus on anything. I feel super disconnected from them.
They're in a constant state of "I really wanna start doing this one thing" but they never actually do it. Just go right back to their phones.
Cheesus christ, reading these comments and recognizing myself in all of them makes me think that someone somewhere should seriously look in to this and make some sort of treatment plan for it.
I have gotten so damn good at pushing negative things to the back of my head and only reacting to them at the last moment that i think i'm pushing the date when i "really" start living my life as i want.... to the day i die.
And as a side note, mental health should be taken fucking seriously! It should be like fixing a broken bone. There should be no gods damned negative social stigma to it. Fuck i live in a country where i dont even know where to go to get some help! And do i live in some third world shithole some fucking backwater where there are 1 doctor for 10000000 people?
No, i live in Finland the socialist paradise.
And for the fellow Finns, don't try to deny this. It's easy to get medical help here but what about mental health?
Don't know about Finland, but I expect it's close to how the Danish system works. Go to your doctor and ask to see a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. The difference is, that the psychiatrist has a medical background, and therefor counts as a medical problem, and go under the free health care, unlike the second
It could be also that, we're just told by society that we need to do a whole bunch of shit, but, we just lack the mental stamina to constantly be doing things, and we feel we should, but in fact, its not in our nature? I mean.. what if our nature is to all sit in floating chairs, not move all day, and have Wall-E do all the work instead while we surrogate The Sims 3000 alongside Bruce Willis.....
Hey, Despot will release his album this year!.. maybe! He's an inspiration to me.
Theres an idea, a community where no one can fix their own shit but they always have plenty of time for everyone else. Just gotta knit the quilt right.
IMO I don't think that most of us with ADHD see ourselves as broken, or at least I don't see myself like that. It's like being in a bike race and you have the same bike as everyone else except theirs are 10-speeds and yours only has first gear. I can pedal harder and faster than anybody but am still left in the dust and still get the people that go "wow look how far back he is. He must not care he's just being lazy"
Yeah, people need to realize that not everybody will perform the same at the same tasks.
I fucking hated school, studying, etc... I'm a smart guy (I think) but I fucking hated school, I was always distracted, sleeping or I would get kicked out by my teachers or isolated from the rest of the class.
Was it because of ADHD? No, I was just bored as fuck. Uninterested by the curriculum of my teachers.
As I got older and realized I had passions for technology and wanted to do something interesting with my life, I decided I needed a university degree to get there.
Now I had a GOAL and a PASSION. Suddenly school was super interesting and easy, I wasn't being forced to do meaningless shit, I WANTED to be there. It was fun.
Today I'm a successful 31yo male with a bachelor degree and working for a top company that pays a shit ton of money.
Everybody thought I had a problem, they would even tell me ''Warenfetischismus, you have a problem, etc.''.
Well fuck them, today I know I don't have a problem, I'm normal. Being normal doesn't mean you have to fit in their fucking role model ideal.
there is no way that you could possibly know whether this person has a mental disorder or not. You can't just tell everyone that they're normal based on no previous knowledge, just because it feels nice to say.
Hi there! You described me, for the most part. Just a few months ago, my therapist informed me that I'm a perfectionist, and a whole lot of stuff clicked into place.
I can plan for things, and I can do stuff when I'm not in my head fussing about it--but when I overplan or overthink any situation I get paralyzed by wanting it to go EXACTLY RIGHT. And knowing that it probably won't, I have a really hard time taking that first simple step, even it if would be pretty easy.
Nothing wrong with planning! But when it comes time to act, don't hesitate. You have to train yourself to DO, not THINK. When you're actually making progress you won't be obsessing over it being perfect because you'll be focused on working.
If you catch yourself hesitating to start, don't "set a timer and start when it goes off" or "watch one more Youtube video" just fucking GO. You'll feel a million times better when you're working.
Just take the first step! Dig in and GO and build that beautiful momentum!
That's 100% spot on. Manynpeople seem to have this. It seems that the feelingsnof accomplishment are achieved only by thinking and thus actual reality suffers from it. It's not "overthinking" things, though, but more like "living in a dreamworld".
Apparently, despite what the man in the video said about "living in the now", many people don't actually live in the now, but in their heads.
I hear that! My house is perennially dirty, but I do clean it once in a while. Starting anything is the hardest part. Even some days at work it's incredibly difficult to just go. But once I do, I can focus on it all day long and stay on task, and I feel so much better when I do. Once I start those dishes, I just go and go and go. It's really easy but just getting to that point is a huge problem.
That's a form of OCD, the one most people are familiar with. Then there's the other one described brilliantly by former NHLer Cory Hirsch (and the one u/pthalio is essentially referencing):
Here's what my therapist has told me. He talked about how many people who procrastinate because of perfectionism have a fixed mindset, as opposed to a growth mindset. You can google those phrases to read more about it, but the TLDR of how I understand it from what he has told me is that a person with a fixed mindset thinks that people basically have a predetermined ability, or in general things have some essential quality that does not change. A growth mindset realizes that people develop their traits over time, and that things in general are fundamentally dynamic/changing. I see a CBT therapist, so he challenges me to break down my thoughts and feelings to untangle any distortions that might come from my fixed mindset or from other distortions related to core beliefs and the anxieties that come from them. I'd definitely recommend seeing a therapist if you're even a little curious.
Other things I like to think about to understand it is the old cliche "it's about the journey, not the destination". A fixed mindset will keep you thinking about the destination (goal), and it's difficult to work towards it because you see yourself so far from it and you conclude that since you are so far away from that goal that you aren't really capable of the goal. A growth mindset doesn't allocate lots of mental bandwidth to the end goal, but rather basks in the potential for action and growth in the current moment. To me this seems to be parallel with the idea of living in the moment instead of being paralyzed with worry about the future or the past.
Yeah, I've learned that about myself over time, too. Running longer distances kind of showed me how it takes tiny steps to accomplish something and even then you have to keep doing it frequently to stay in shape.
So how does your therapist suggest you deal with this fixed mindset? Tackling things head on is not going to work because life is too complicated.
well all of the therapy kinda works together, so its not easy to simply answer your question. For me and the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) that I am doing, it's a lot of learning about how your mind works so you can understand how it goes wrong, and then being cognizant of it going forward so you can intervene when you need to. What this looks like in practice is having a silent conversation with myself (or sometimes writing it down, especially when first learning this) where I examine the thoughts that give me negative emotions and ask myself what is the evidence I have to support that. My therapist helped me through this the first several times, but once you know what to look for its something that you can do for yourself. I found that a lot of the negative thought patterns I had were common across different issues, so it becomes easier to recognize and find what is wrong with your thinking and untangle it and rephrase the thought in a way that is not distorted. It's hard to work through an example that I'm sure could make sense to you since everyone's inner-monologue is different and I'm not a therapist or anything like that, but ultimately this practice helps me to stop helplessly ruminating and worrying, parce out the wheat from the chaff, and ultimatley take positive action in accordance with my values rather than being controlled by compulsive thoughts and unconscious deeply held beliefs that are not helpful or true.
Oh..my...god. this is exactly how i feel, like a 100% what im struggling with. I suspected it was because i was worried of failing - aka things not going the way exactly how i want - but ive started to change my mentality and focus on the task, the present, rather than worrying about the results.
If it makes you feel any better, I am afraid of the same thing. Maybe it's because my father instilled this desire in me succeed no matter what and anything less than making money and being successful is "failure." I am afraid of failing, thus I don't try.
Are you my husband? One of the smartest people I know and can't complete a damn thing because the he can't ever start because everything is not complete upfront.
Exactly what I do constantly. The worst is when I help a classmate finish the exact same work with no trouble, but then fail to finish my own. Later on when they ask me why I never finished even though I found the work easy, all I can do is shrug like an idiot. It's infuriating.
The only solution I've found is to surround myself with people who are better at self motivation than I am, and asking to work together.
I'd get checked again by someone else. I was diagnosed while i was in the army and they told me there are 3 types of ADHD: Focus-based, hyper activity, or both. I'm the most laid back guy, I'm patient to a fault. My parents refused to get me tested when i was a kid because i could play video games for hours and I obviously can't have a focus or hyper-activity disorder if I can sit for hours focusing on a video game, right? If you feel unable to sit down a get something done on a regular basis, get tested. It's not a once and a while thing. It's all the time. If you feel like your life is being negatively effected by your inability to act on things, it's probably ADHD.
what was your diagnoses? Cause I'm the same way, laid back, can sometimes get lost in games or shows for plenty of time, but with most things it's like people describe above, doesn't matter if i prepare, things are getting done at the last possible second, always, and they have to be emergencies
You see, I have a theory about this and it's probably gonna get buried but i'm gonna give it a shot anyway.
You know how they call this generation this age of ADHD and it's diagnosed alot more in the past years. What if ADD / ADHD is just really young people watching tv or playing video games and OVERDEVELOP the ability to progress information faster in short periods of time but in exchange lose the ability to hold their focus and concentration longer because of this "hyper active focus".
You see, your muscles have a short muscle to explode and run super fast, but they also have long muscles which trained, can run marathons! it's the same theory but in your brains.
This would also explain why stereotype athletic & fighter types of people are not all that bright but good at what they do, because they have trained their fast memory muscles to quickly process information and calculations, gamers also have insane reactions because of this but they're vived learners most of the time. That's why the stereotypical "nerd" is not very athletic, it's because they trained their long memory muscles over their short ones, they never needed the short ones anyway because they were in a safe enviroment so they focused on abstract and smart thinking what makes out the great thinkers of today.
I had the same thought about this. I am hoping someone who knows what they're talking about can disprove your comment because it'd be a lot easier to blame my inattentiveness on my "genetics," i.e. ADHD, rather than the fact that I played too many videogames as a kid. I am also concerned that not enough research has been done on the effect of videogames on information processing and attentiveness and might bear bad news at large for people who play videogames.
My degree is in psychology and while there could be some truth to the comment, comparing the brain to how an athlete's body differs depending on their sport is just false. Our brain isn't like muscle where too much knowledge in one area means we are worse in another like how a world record sprinter wouldn't stand a chance in marathon running. If you watched the video, it seems that ADHD is genetic so there's absolutely nothing wrong with blaming it on that. Learning how to apply knowledge or use the knowledge you currently have may be able to be taught, but the video makes it seem like the our brain naturally has the ability to apply learned knowledge to future events. According to the video this is because of the neuroscience involved with knowledge and the unconscious application of the knowledge. Brains of people with ADHD either don't have the neural connections that link these areas or they are just much weaker. This leads to them not being able to think far ahead into the future. People with and without ADHD both have the knowledge of how to plan for a future event, but people without ADHD are able to unconsciously apply this knowledge to their actions. A person with ADHD doesn't do this naturally so they have to react to things as they come up.
What if you have no physician and can't afford therapy? I've been struggling with mental issues for years and still don't know what to do about it. I've been making slow progress for a while now but there's only so much I can do without help.
I can't really recommend anything outside that. Prescriptions cost money and when it comes to Adderall, you can only get a month supply at any time so it requires regular doctor visits
I think your only option then is finding a social worker, they should be able to help you out or tell you where to go and what hoops you need to jump through to get your stuff covered when you're poor. Good luck, you should be able to get some help, I believe there's money earmarked in all state budgets for stuff like this, but I've personally never tried the system.
This pretty much describes me. Got diagnosed and tried Adderall XR, regular adderall and now Vyvanse. Vyvanse seems to work the best because I could feel the addiction quickly building on the Adderall, even the XR. The immediate "burst" of "omg i can get shit done" is great but something about it felt very unhealthy. Vyvanse isn't really like that, it also has, for me, very little of the over the top energy. I just get going and get stuff done more regularly and find myself drinking substantially less caffeine.
It's a common myth that hyper activity is the hallmark symptom of ADHD. While it is a good indicator there are plenty without this symptom but a slew of others. There's a subtype specifically for this type (Inattentive).
I'm the Combined type so I have a bit of both. I still doubt my diagnosis every occasionally but it does explain alot of who I am.
so i've actually gotten adderoll near the end of last year, but it really hasn't helped, but at this point I can't tell if it's just due to the world and current events constantly distracting me, or me distracting me. I can't go radio silent on news, I know I can't do shit about any of it but if I ignore it I feel like i'm just contributing to the problem. It's incredibly hard to focus on anything long term at this point cause it just seems like things will be changing so massively in the near future that any plans are pointless. all the drugs end up doing is help me focus more on reading stuff that continues the anxiety circle of not doing anything. But i've got a job that is simple and pays enough for now, I have savings and no debt, it's so hard to panic about my personal situation since no one depends on me
Most people with ADD love video games because they deal with intense react now behaviors that allow us to focus. people with ADD need the adrenaline of the moment of impending doom to get in gear and then they love it.
I think the thing that people who think that "if you can sustain attention on (whatever), you don't have ADHD" should consider is that if you can't do things in moderation, if you play the game (as in your example) to the detriment of other meaningful tasks (neglecting other things you need to do), that's still an executive function problem. That's exactly what this video is describing-- inability to address consequences well in advance.
I can sit down and study for 7 hours the day before the test (which I don't think someone with ADHD could) but I can't will myself to study before the day before.
Sounds like textbook ADHD-Inattentive type. It's a common misconception that ADHD is a total inability to focus or that it always comes with hyperactivity or impulsivity. At its core, it's an inability to control when and what you focus on. Most people with ADHD perform better at the last minute, because adrenaline gives their brain the stimulation it needs to focus properly. This is what stimulant medication does as well, which is why it's the first-line treatment for ADHD. It would be well worth seeking a second opinion.
You sound like you know what you're talking about. Is there a difference between childhood and adult therapy? I, like many in this thread, identify with others inability to "choose when to focus". I'll often dedicate large parts of days to "work" only to meet a total lack of impulse to actually do it. Going to a coffee shop helps, as I feel that is a place for study and those around would judge me if I'm not studious. I have on and off days in this sense. As a recent college grad, who has never been diagnosed or tested for ADHD how can I find out more?
What I'm asking is how to find a professional near me that will help me to understand myself and to identify areas to make improvements.
Fourth year clinical psychology doctoral student here. I'll try and answer some of your questions.
There are many differences between childhood and adult therapy. In fact, therapy should be tailored to the individual's needs. While therapy (in all senses) shares underlying traits, the interactions between the goals of the client, the client's worldview, the therapists theoretical orientation, etc. result in each individual client-therapist relationship being different. Children differ from adults in many ways, and therefore therapy needs to use strategies that appeal to these developmental differences. For instance, children can often speak through play, so therapists will use play with them rather than speech.
How can you find out more? I like the previous reply that suggested you go to a general practitioner. That individual could probably give you a few screeners and give you a diagnosis, but if it's a wealth of knowledge you're looking for then ask to be referred to a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist has specialized in these kinds of disorders and will have much more information for you.
The last line of your post is different. To me, it indicates you're looking for more than just how to understand your ADHD symptoms. If you're searching for ways that you can better yourself through understanding and actions as a person, then I suggest you see a counselor/psychologist. As stated above, if you're communicative with this individual then this experience can be full of self-exploration and discussions about ways you can manage these symptoms. You might learn a whole bunch of other stuff while you're at it.
Some people with ADD have hyper focus too, and will block out everything around them, I heard of a guy not hearing a fire alarm because he was working on a project, someone had to grab and break his attention on the project so he could hear it.
Exactly. I have ADHD, and the only way I can seem to get things done is, just like Dr. Barkley says, when they are imminent. I estimate a task will take me 16 hours to do, so I give myself that last weekend before it's due to work. Not talk to anybody. Eat little. Then, when it takes longer, stay up all night finishing.
I can focus for a long time with my medication and knowledge that something must be done. But if there is ever the notion that it's not actually due, I relax and can't focus the same way.
the guy in the video dr. barkley doen't think inattentive type is an adhd disorder. he thinks (and researchers think) it's a different disorder that might be currently named as concentration deficit disorder or maybe sluggish cognitive tempo; i'm not sure. the reason why inattentive type is not adhd is because there is no executive functioning deficit which is where all the adhd symptoms stem from.
What if there's nothing wrong with us and we're just mediocre?
Someone with an IQ of 80 will probably never be able to attain a college degree. But that doesn't mean they have a disease. Their brains just don't work as well as most people's.
That is something a neuropsychologist would be able to discern, but a normal clinical or counseling psychologist would be a good place to start.
In general if you want to determine if you should be diagnosed with something, don't go to a social worker (they're wonderful for counseling/therapy, but typically they don't have extensive training in diagnosis and can't administer most psychological tests. A licensed clinical social worker may have one course in diagnosis taught by another social worker, whereas a ph.d. clinical psychologist will have years of descriptive psychopathology and assessment courses) or a psychiatrist (typically don't have the luxury of time to spend and won't be trained in the relevant psychological tests).
This is a vastly underrated comment. If you don't know what you have, a trip to the neurologist or neuropsychologist is better than trying to figure it out piecemeal. There could be memory issues, language issues, attention and learning issues, behavior issues, dietary issues and the doctor will know what tests and other specialists you need to understand what's going on completely. I had this done for my child and it made a world of difference.
What if there's nothing wrong with us and we're just mediocre?
Someone with an IQ of 80 will probably never be able to attain a college degree. But that doesn't mean they have a disease. Their brains just don't work as well as most people's.
I am someone diagnosed with inattentive type. My testing showed natural intelligence scores in the 98th, 97th, and 74th percentile for the three components. That translates to approximately 145, 140, and 120 functional IQ scores. I failed, repeatedly, to attain a degree due to the inability to execute when needed. I had the knowledge, in a lot of cases it was trivial stuff to me. What got me was not being able to meet deadlines, not being able to sit down and study, etc. If I could go at my own pace and just do the assignments and tests and do away with deadlines/lectures/etc - I have no doubt I could earn a couple degrees in a fraction of the time. Not because I could will myself to "do" any more than I could before, but because once I finally start "doing" it's easier to keep the momentum and make it habit/routine/automatic. School is stop/go/stop/go so it's constantly having to refocus and regain the momentum - something that's exceedingly difficult for those with ADHD.
How about the person who crams 16 hours straight just before a very difficult exam and not only passes, but gets a an 84 percent score, when a quarter of the year fails it an only a handful of people got over 90?
However that same person is unable to start studying a few days before the exam, even if it's their 3rd year in law school and they should know better by now? And they know better, they just can't start until they can feel the proverbial gun against the back of their head.
I don't know if it's quite that simple. I just finished my masters degree and I'm everything this whole thread says and I'm just as crappy at procrastinating. But when I need to perform (external pressure) I can perform above average. My masters was hard as hell to get, I got by with my "in the moment" abilities. I'm probably very mediocre, I'm not trying to r/iamverysmart here, I'm just a saying it really unlikely it's just a "mediocre person" issue. If it were I would not have outperformed the people without these issues. I think the difference is I have a lot more panicked and stressful moments when my procrastination catches up with me compared to those others..
This is me. I realized it after my first attempt at college. I found that I lacked the structure to actually carry out plans I made.
I have a high IQ but procrastination has always been my Achilles heel. College actually required planning and work to accomplish. High school took no effort for me to make good marks. I dropped out of college with a 2.4 in my 3rd year.
I went back and developed a system for learning in general. Lists are everything to me as well. Daily lists of what to accomplish, monthly, annual. Checking something off a physical list creates a positive feedback loop for me. It sounds really simple but it's actually been a springboard to becoming a much more organized and efficient person. I've had a 3.8 GPA since going back to school!
It all started with buying a daily planner and writing every single thing I want to get done and highlighting it when it's done. It's sort of like an experience bar in a video game.
oh my god, what you described is me to a t, right down to the part about being unable to force myself to study before but being able to cram for 5-8 hours at the last minute.
I struggle with the same thing my dude. There is so much positivity in my life, money, job, etc., but after all these years now I know exactly when shit/life will get fucked. The worst part is I won't really care that much because I knew beforehand it was going to happen, and I kind of just accept it of myself. I know so much, but I am so ineffective.
I feel exactly the same way. I have been thinking about this A LOT the past year, where I have finally gotten control and see myself more objectively.
My working theory is that... well... you are two I often feel like the talking part of my brain lays out these great plans of how I am going to work on a project and how much time I am going to spend on it each day. Just for "something" to step in and ruin it with procrastination and doing fun things. I think that I have a talking brain which knows what is going to happen if I do not put in the effort, and a non talking brain which just wants to have fun all of the time.
I would love some discussion on this topic as it has been on my mind for quite a while.
A little more context, the reason I have finally started seing this pattern is because of two podcasts both with the youtuber CGP Grey from the video. "Hello Internet" and "Cortex". To me it seems like Grey feels the same as we do, but he has put in so many systems to "trick" the silent fun brain, and thus he has become more efficient. I highly recommend both podcasts, they are both entertaining and mind blowing.
Finally, I have about 3 months from now on which are fairly light on the mental labor department where I am going to focus more on trying to be more efficient and productive using a lot of the advice that Grey gives in both podcasts. Would love to discuss some methods for this as well.
I was like this when I was 19-22. It's only over ten years later that I've really started getting out of that rut. I didn't do anything except change jobs and work with some really inspirational people who I stole techniques from.
Try answering this as honest as you can. That should give you an indication of how close to ADHD you really are. Don't think to much about the stereotype. ADHD presents itself differently in different people.
For what it's worth, I just recently started talking with my doctor about this. I also was not hyperactive as a kid, nor was I traditionally impulsive - at least in the way people with ADHD are usually viewed. But, nevertheless, I could not get myself to do important and necessary things until I had absolutely no choice or time left. I ruled out ADHD because of those first two reasons, but it was becoming a bigger and bigger problem in my life.
M doctor and I spoke about it, I was tested, and despite lacking the impulsiveness or hyperactivity, I scored in the ADHD range and my doctor started me on some medication. This is in my 30's.
To be blunt, I'm kicking myself that I didn't do this before now. If I had a slow day at work staying until 5pm was torture before but now I hardly notice. I don't want to do unpleasant or monotonous tasks any more than I did previously, but now - if I choose to do them, I can. I don't feel significantly different than I did previously, other than I feel like I have a lot more choice and control now.
It's really a major benefit in my life, and I'm on such a relatively small dose that I haven't had any noticeable side effects after the first week or so taking the medicine.
Therapist don't always help. One day, I just decided to get off my ass and fix myself. I went from sitting in a tiny apartment all night doing blow, smoking copious amounts of weed and drinking un-godly amounts of whiskey and gin in a garbage, liquor bottle, cigarette pack infested drug den that someone would call an apartment. To living in a nicer apartment. I quit the blow, cut down liquor consumption to only a few bottles a week. I still smoke copious amounts of bud and cigarettes. But, I'm physically fit now, have a decent job, and I keep my place clean. It's not easy, but do able of you want it bad enough.
You're normal. Very few people in the world can consistently give 100% of their concentrated effort. They are called rockstars, geniuses, presidents, and so on. It's ok to be normal. Just enjoy your life.
Holy shit, this sounds EXACTLY like me. I've never been able to put into words.
I've always wondered if something is wrong with me because I have the worst time trying to study and focus. But I'm pretty sure I just have such bad procrastination habits because I've been doing it since I was about 10.
This is called being "lazy human". Hope that doesnt sound too negative, the reality of it is, humans are always looking for ways to delegate, or push off responsibility. Its the "lazy human", or the "frolicking forager" inside of us.
If this weren't true within us, then we probably would have never developed such great technologies! Everything we do stems for the desire to make things "easier", and "less work".
The probelm you face is that you haven't ever learned to simplify things in order to get them going. Half the battle of any amount of work is simply "getting started". When you feel like you've spent enough time planning, so much so that you're continually going back to change something here or there, drop the planning stage, and just start doing it.
You'd be shocked how kinetic movement helps your brain think critically and creatively, and how touching and moving things will naturally make you interested in completing the puzzle.
Dont feel bad... from multiple generations where machines and computers have pretty much done everything for us, its no wonder we are having a hard time with this. Recognize it as natural, and stop looking for science to tell you whats wrong with you.
You know they've dropped the hyperactivity mostly from the criteria as it hardly presents that way in girls. A certain hallmark trait is instead of impulsiveness is constantly daydreaming. Not sure when you were tested but the criteria, especially surrounding ADULT ADD has been revamped as not much research was put in to in until late.
I make all these beautiful plans on how I'm going to fix my life, but actually putting them in action feels almost impossible.
That sounds a bit like the apathy that sometimes goes with depression. I describe it as being in my car, knowing where I want to go, revving the engine.... but I can't get out of neutral. If you decide to google for answers, you might also try looking into "self-sabotage." Good luck!
Hey! This sounds like you could be writing about me.
Have you tried medication before? I've never been "formally diagnosed" with ADHD but I've tried adderall recreationally and it was a huge help. So much so that I went to my doctor and asked him for a prescription, and he obliged, saying that depression, anxiety, and ADHD are all closely intertwined. We're not really sure why it works, but it does, so he has no problem prescribing it.
Yes people with adhd can study 7 hours the night before a test. It's called overfocusing. Once an activity becomes important enough or exciting enough then one will tune everything else out and focus solely on the one activity.
Same here. Exactly the same for me. It's like we have a weaker version of ADD that allows us to basically function but keeps us from our peak level of performance.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that it's possible to study for 7 hours the day before if you have ADHD. You can get into hyperfocused mode, and for some it is triggered by a close deadline.
But what I wanted to recommend is reading about executive dysfunction and see if you recognize yourself in that. It's a pretty central struggle for people with ADHD that others without the diagnosis also can recognize themselves in, and learn tools for.
What you're describing is ADHD though. Watch the rest of the presentation that someone linked and he goes over and describes exactly what you're describing. It's not so much an attention disorder, he goes on to say it's not an appropriately named disorder, but is an executive function disorder that affects drive and motivation due to an inability to keep something as a focus within your executive functions. The hyperactivity also stops being expressed physically and outwardly as you age, and turns inward and into a mental hyperactivity as you grow older.
You are describing ADD the same way the video is. You see the future, you plan for the future in your head, but you don't do anything about the future. When the guys says ADHD people can't plan for the future he means you can't do things that help you in the future. The whole point is that you don't get upset. You know its going to suck if you don't get something done. You know you could start now. Maybe you plan to start tomorrow. The point is you don't. You don't feel the pressure to act until its too late or nearly too late. That is ADHD.
I even do this with things I WANT to do. Like watch a certain video or movie or play a game. It's frustrating as fuck for me and I get pissed at myself all the time for doing it.
It's an interesting characterization of ADHD I've never considered. I absolutely have ADHD, but personally don't have this chronic problem of being able to "plan" for the future but not to follow through on my plans (provided I am sufficiently motivated toward the goal). I procrastinate like crazy, but in the end I follow through on and tend to achieve my goals.
For me, ADHD has always mainly been about 1) impulsivity and 2) lack of sustained focus (although this can fluctuate with my level of interest in what I am trying to focus on).
Impulsivity is related to "thinking about the future" because people with ADHD can often make poor decisions in the moment without seeming to consider about negative consequences for the future. But that doesn't stop them from, say, planning to get into graduate school (long term goal) and then taking the steps they need to do so.
I've always thought of the procrastination bit as being related, but definitely not the "hallmark" trait of ADHD.
What I am getting at is, I don't think that if you have the particular quality OP described necessarily means you have ADHD if you don't have some of the other classic symptoms. Procrastination and motivation issues can exist without ADHD.
For me the absolutely biggest parts of my adhd is decision fatigue, restlessness and constant anhedonia.
If I have to make many seemingly pointless decisions I'll run out of "decision making fuel" and I'll just get angry and confused and generally make bad decisions or just shut down.
I can almost never relax. I can't get home from work, feel tired and just chill out and recharge my batteries. Nope. Gotta do shit! Anything! Right now! I'm gonna.. uhh... build a soil sifter! But shit I'm tired after a long day of work. I should rest. Nah, fuck resting, that's boring. Hey that's a cool article on reddit! It's about guitars. I could learn to play guitar. Right, I already have one! I should play some guitar right now. What's that? We gotta make dinner? Again? But we ate yesterday. I don't have time for that! Etc...
And whatever I do, it's never enough. I almost never feel satisfied or "done". That's the worst part of it. Nothing ever feels very good for long. It's like a constant dopamine itch I gotta scratch. Gotta do something to get my fix, but I'm not sure what.
Then there's the whole attention and procrastination bits, but with a bit of practice and discipline anyone can get those bits under control. The other stuff I mentioned seems to be beyond my control unfortunately...
I agree with you about the OP. I am not saying they have ADD. They seamed to be latching onto the idea that ADD people can't plan for the future. Like the fact that they think about the future and understand the negative consequences of inaction means its not ADD.
Planning to get into graduate school and then taking the steps they need to can happen with ADD. For an ADD person its just going to go differently. The application is going to be finished on the last day. They might not apply to all 3 schools they wanted to because they didn't have time on that last day. They will have many late nights where they start and finish a project they should have worked on for a week or more. Their high test scores will help make up for bad project scores. Long term educational goals were easier for me because the University supplies a series of impending deadlines that I can run into. Life goals are harder.
Goals you care about are another thing altogether. I call it hyper focus. Tonight I will spend way too much time configuring a new 3d printer. I will be so intently focused on it that I neglect other things that I should be doing. When you care about something the dopamine release is greater when you accomplish things and that is enough to activate an ADD person. Then the problem is shutting them off. I have been thinking about my garden almost constantly for the last 5 days.
For me my ADD's worst symptom is how everything gets equal attention in my brain. If I go out to eat I listen to every conversation. I watch the servers, the bartender, the people walking in and out. Most people seam to be able to pay attention to one thing and ignore the rest. I can't do that. I need to put myself in some form of isolation. If I am actually interested in something then all the distraction won't take me out of the task they will just frustrate me. Of course I am medicated and have been for years. Its worse when I am not medicated.
You're right and you've developed valuable and unteachable skills to cope. The problem is, as in my case, that at some point in your life, those skills aren't enough. You can get through school, finances, jobs, and life MOST of the time with your finely tuned skillset, but inevitably you're going to hit a point where it STOPS working. The lecturer is trying to say that we can't rely on our "skills." Ultimately there is something ELSE. I wish I knew what that was, because I'm well into my 30s and I don't want to damage my family because my skills have run out of steam.
Word. It's exciting to realize you can bullshit your way through every class with good grades because you're "smart", but it's not as fun to realize that's the only way you can do it. To then muster the confidence to get a job you're technically qualified for may turn out to be quite hard.
I have three upper secondary degrees (or what the 'murican equivalent may be called) in different fields, have never worked in any of them and have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Recently got diagnosed though (at 32) and I really hope medication will allow me to make a real effort at actually learning something and stick with it. Luckily, all education is tax funded in my country so I've got that going for me, which I'm really grateful for.
I spent the first 20-25 years of my life being so proud of myself because, with near zero effort, I could accomplish what those "fools" that studied and gave two shits could do. Now I'm at a terrifying crossroad realizing that my bullshitting skills mean absolutely dick when I'm trying to teach my kids how to react to the world. I never had to pay attention or give more than half of a fuck because I was invincible... but now it's obvious that there's no longevity in that mindset--and no mix of meds is making it any better. Life is hard, I just didn't realize that for the first 75% of it.
The description in the video sounded nothing like my experience. I have been very concerned about the future to the point of self harm for falling behind on day one. Deadlines never gave me some sort of magical power to focus. I do occasionally get them (the super power focus) but that has more to do with an ass whack of caffeine, and getting away from people. I also have this issue with not being able to ignore sounds, it's like their is no filter. My kids hate the fact that I yell at them from another room when I hear them getting into something they aren't supposed to. Earbuds help. My issue is that I'm easily derailed, and after I go a few minutes on a tangent, I may or may not get off in the right place. For this reason, I do all of my organization on a physical object, notebook, because it's when I see the notebook that I get rederailed(totally a word) back onto what I'm trying to accomplish. Maybe I'm misdiagnosed, but I hate seeing and hearing all the "they can't care about the future" and "deadlines" crap. Planning doesn't change anything when the main hallway at work goes right past my desk.
I'm not at all trying to be a dick here but those are exactly the feelings that lead me to get an ADHD diagnosis. Not caring almost feels good until said problem bites you in the arse.
If life is going well and you are happy then don't worry. If the tendencies you described are messing things up then maybe go get a test. My life is so much better now.
My life is going in the shitter but again, I'm not stressed about it.
And if the OP video is accurate, then I probably don't have ADHD specifically; he describes it as an inability to plan for and take action on the future. That is most certainly not what I have. I see the future, I make plans, but I don't carry them out.
It's a thing that can effect people very differently. His description is not definitive. I can make all the plans in the world but I can't act on them. You know what to do but you can't act on it? That IS what he said. To be fair, depression also causes that. Anyway I hope you get your life out the shitter before something bad enough to make you care happens. I don't want to be pushy. I don't know you :)
I feel these same ways, feelings of apathy, not stressed, knowing what I should be doing but just avoiding it with sleep or other activities. I got tested for adhd and even though I didn't like the person doing the test, a lot of the things they test for I did really well in... like being able to actually pay attention. That's not my problem.
I still don't feel stressed about stuff, not studying, being late for work... but I feel like I've developed some kind of ptsd that I know when shit finally hits the fan I'm gonna feel like absolute shit and hate myself for not caring before. So although I don't stress, I get super anxious about the shitty feeling I know I'm going to experience.
Exactly same thing here. I'm upset at myself for not caring . Sometimes it feels like my friends care more about my personal failures than I do myself.
What did you change? Did you get treatment, see a therapist, or what? The video and this comment describe me exactly. I'm a computer science student and I can read and understand code so well, but when I'm presented with a project and deadline I go blank and can't figure out how to apply my actual knowledge to the project unless I have someone talk me through it. Ultimately I wait until the day before it's due and write some shitty code and ask others for help and don't really care if I get a 0 or 100 because I know I can make up for it if I do better on the next project. I have an adderall prescription, which has helped me immensely just to listen in class and be able to study. But it hasn't really helped me put my knowledge together into actions I guess, if that makes sense. I also have a hard time making my self take my prescription because it makes me kind of irritable and I'll get a headache when it wears off.
Thus Really seems to mit ihr nail on the head for me! But i am always a bit woorried about selfdiagnosing or blaming my laziness on aomething other than myself.
It's possible it could be depression, I've been misdiagnosed as depression but it was ADHD. Part of it is I'm a girl and ADHD is symptoms are quite different than in boys so we don't get noticed, but also I had a really troublesome upbringing through foster care/homelessness/child abuse so most clinicians assume that I must have depression. Turns out I'm really resilient just can't pay attention for shit.
Adhd causes depression and depressive symptoms are very similar to adhd. It's all a big tangled mess. But at least depressions usually go away, unlike adhd.
Sounds like you're describing a general lack of motivation. There are hundreds of explanations and causes... cognitive therapy is a good way to explore them though.
let me know if you figure out what this is... Currently have exams. I know what to study, I know the order I should be doing it in, the priorities I should make, how to structure the information. I know what the consequences are of not doing it, a future retake, less time with my family over the summer, more stress, I know the rough probability of passing with certain grades, and I know that good grades sure are better than bad grades. I know I have the mental faculties to understand the material.
Meanwhile, I am sitting here, looking at time pass, having great difficulty forcing myself to actually do it. Every hour the potential grade I can get given the time left to study drops, and the outlook for my future becomes relatively more bleak. And I don't feel particularly strongly about it, I don't feel any particular sense of urgency.
I know some of the things mentioned in the video makes it easier for me to do work, e.g. changing my surroundings, going to campus, surrounding myself with other people studying.
But I didn't go to the campus today, I just stayed home.
I have some suspicion that this is more associated with anxiety/insecurity issues than ADHD - the certainty of failure being more comfortable than trying with the risk of failing. I am anxious about the outcome so I find every possible reason not to face it, for example writing this post. This results in a distinct inability to do things that don't need to be done right now, and particularly things with no external demand.
At work I have no problems focusing on work, I work from the moment I set foot in the office till the moment I leave. But there's usually someone who's asking for what I am working on, the demand is external, rather than driven by my own internal motivation.
So maybe it isn't anxiety related as such, but rather that the anxiety at some point becomes so strong it is perceived as an external force. When this is your sole point of external motivation, your life is driven by chasing anxiety, the soles of your sanity slowly being trod thin.
This circles back to some of the points he makes with regard to the "intention deficit", but is not congruent with the typical ADHD symptoms. I don't have difficulty focusing, I don't have difficulty shutting out sensory inputs, I don't suffer from my own impulsive actions, or from emotional outbursts, and I have no problems planning and strategizing how to do things and when to do it. I have problems doing them.
So maybe it is a kind of ADHD after all, or at least a kind of IDD. So maybe some of the possible treatments regimes would be beneficial as well (addressing the point of performance).
It's a different type of not caring. It's not like the depressed "what's the point" - though those kinds of thoughts can come when spiraling in the dark place.
But the not caring is more that the goals carry higher weight than the motivation to achieve them. It's not that I don't care, per se, it's looking at a puzzle I can see from all sides but still can't solve. And then someone walks up and puts all the pieces together in no time.. and I can watch, and learn, and repeat that solution. But unless that EXACT puzzle arises again, I'm at a complete loss.
It's not the same as depression, I'm not sure I can articulate it to someone who doesn't personally feel it, but those others know exactly what I'm talking about.
The more I study in the field, the more I see it as necessary for a number of mental health conditions of increasing prominence to have their boundaries and borders, the definitions and labels we attach to distinguish between individuals with and without a condition, intentionally muddied. What I mean by that is, we're talking about neuropsychological processes so complex in nature that surely there is no sense in labeling these conditions as something that you either have, or don't have. Where do we draw the line between an individual who is frequently depressed but has a poor frame of reference when it comes to answering 'On a scale of 1 to 10' questions, and clinical depression? How many people have been told they do not have an executive function disorder because they put down a 4 instead of a 5 on a ratings scale, or just didn't explain their problem effectively to their GP?
There are some things in medicine and medical practice that are very much Yes or No, Black or White - presence of infectious diseases and well understood genetic disorders for example - but to suggest that every aspect of our health and wellbeing, especially our mental health, can be boiled down to a Yes or No label, 'Has ADHD' or 'Does Not Have ADHD', is truly questionable logic.
TL;DR: In my opinion, it's probably related to the same kinds of executive function disorders attributed to ADHD, but brains aren't identically wired, nor do we each experience identical sensory input. You might just have a stronger ability to recall information, but have the same lack of drive. Who knows, the brain is complex and wonderful.
Your last bit about no sress describes me perfectly. I used to be very diligent and would be stressed about deadlines and consequences, but when i hit college something clicked (in a bad way) and i stopped getting stressed as i simultaneously started slipping in school. I feel like i do mental gymnastics to rationalize why certain consequences arent as bad as they seem, and then that behavior just repeats itself until im not getting anything done. I think that stress is paramount to my success, but i rationalize negative consequences instinctively at this point. Ive always guessed it developed as a defense mechanism for my brain to cope with all the stress i was under, and then i just started succumbing to reactive rationalization and the instant gratification of not doing something undesirable. It sucks and im not sure how to train myself not to be this way.
You just have procrastination issues. The underlying issues may be depression or something else.
Try to breakdown a task into simple sub tasks
Also look up future bias.
I feel like this sometimes too, it's like I lack a sense of urgency.
One thing that helped me out was setting goals and categorizing the goals into appropriate categories I listened to A Freakonomics podcast called How to Be More Productive and one thing that resonated with me is goal-setting, specifically setting small goals as well as stretch-goals, and breaking up big goals into bite-sized chunks to make them more manageable (basically any big goal has multiple steps, so the focus is on ticking off each step to reach the bigger goal).
Another podcast that I listened to was called The Minimalists (I linked to a blog post about what I'm referencing. The podcast was interesting, but a bit repetitive and usually references the blog). The short version was, make a list of what you want to dow with your time-- goals, dreams, whatever. Then make a list of what you actually do with your time. Then focus on balancing that equation better. Minimalism is really interesting. I feel like it gets a bad rap these days because people act like it's all about Macbooks and white furniture and counting your possessions but it's really about finding what makes you happy, focusing on that, and getting rid of the stuff that doesn't serve your greater purpose. People draw those lines in different places.
So anyway, I made a few lists. I try and do at least 3 productive things every day, big or small. I have home improvement type things, places that I want to travel to, local landmarks that I want to see, life goals that I want to unlock, hobbies that I want to pick up, and I try and make a conscious effort to do something with my day that works toward those greater goals. I almost typed, "I want to find time to squeeze in those things" but that's kind of the opposite of what I want and what I'm doing. I want to fill my life with the good things that serve my greater purpose. It's not easy-- it's not natural to me-- but I feel better at the end of the day for it.
I honestly felt the same way... but I think in my case its literally that I don't give a shit...
It feels nice to think that there is some answer to why I don't do things that I know I should do when I should do do them, but I think in a way, that's just wishful thinking. Rather than accept that it is under my control, I would love to blame something else.
Not saying this is the case with you, just how I felt in addition to what you said.
There is no reliable test for ADHD, so they can only really isolate symptoms which makes it quite hard to definitively diagnose. For years I was diagnosed with a learning disability but when i went in to get an updated assessment they said that what I had was now called inattentive ADHD. This was disputed by my university, until my family doctor had a battery of tests done on me in order to prove as definitively as she could that I did in fact have a condition that was impeding my ability to succeed in school and just about anything else. I now get help, and the difference is now remarkable. I'm finally performing at a level that is commensurate with the cognitive ability I demonstrated in my assessments throughout my life.
Tldr: regardless of whatever they call it, even if you don't have a full blown case of ADHD you should seek out strategies that work for you if you find yourself having symptoms. You can't really cure it, but it's about using the condition to your advantage. My ADHD makes me a research wiz, for example.
You've gotten a lot of responses so I don't think you'll see this. But I'm the exact same, and I've been diagnosed with ADHD, by several doctors.
I was thinking on it recently, while I was pulling an all nighter for a test, and the best way I could describe it is like being handcuffed and tied down to a train track with a deadline (the train) approaching. While the train is miles out, I make a plan of what I need to do (remove the handcuffs, untie myself, and then step off the tracks). I know exactly what I need to do, and I have ample time, yet I can't/don't do anything until the train is right on top of me. I just sit there, calm as can be, doing nothing. I see the train approaching, and I know that if I don't follow my plan, I'm gonna get hit. And I know I've been in this exact situation before, and that I have to do something before it's too late. And yet I just can't bring myself to execute my simple plan to get off the tracks and avoid being hit.
It drives me insane because my mom will ALWAYS tell me that I need to see someone to help organize and set up plans so that I can get my schoolwork done. Every time I tell her that is not the issue, and that I already have a plan in place, and in fact I'm quite good at planning/organizing. My problem is executing the plan.
Just felt like sharing my analogy with you as it seems like we both suffer from the same issue. Best of luck to you.
I'm currently being evaluated for a ADD. I looked it up because, well... I mean, just look at my username. I've always been the lazy guy. The one who finds it IMPOSSIBLE to do his homework because I somehow lack motivation and discipline. And I believed this until I got older, had one too many life crises, and really wanted to study ...only to find that I'd still run into that brick wall.
I knew how to do it and I wanted to do it, but... I never did it. And I could never quite explain why. People think that I'm calm and stable, but the truth is that I'm constantly stressed out because I'm constantly afraid that I'm missing something. That there's a big, gaping hole in my net of attention.
The jury's still out on my diagnosis, but my psychiatrist and my psychologist both think that it's likely, and it would explain so much about my past that I sincerely hope that I do have this disorder.
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u/[deleted] May 30 '17
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